Driven

Ch 18

Ethan's P.O.V

I trembled slightly, my eyes clenched shut so hard that I was seeing spots. His voice was caught in his throat as I waited with baited breath for something to be said. Suddenly I felt the most unexpected feeling, a pair of lips gently pressed against those cuts, gently caressing them with his lips. I whimpered at the feeling, slowly opening my eyes to look at the man that was slowly kissing my scars, his lips barely touching my skin as though he feared the pain still remained.

"I hate... I hate whatever made you feel the need to end your life." He spoke into my skin as the vibrations made me shiver.

"Why?" He asked, turning to look at me, tears swimming in his eyes.

"My father hates me", I said simply, "When I came out of the closet, he threw me out of the house and onto the streets. I never meant to come out to him, but he read my diary and when he found out what I meant he couldn't keep a sinner in his house. My mother never wanted that for me but she never said a word so maybe she did want me gone. Mathew's family was very kind to me, they took me in and looked after me as if I was theirs." I smiled through my tears. I was leaning on his chest as he rubbed small circles on my back.

"Then when Mathew left to go join the Army, I joined a college for Architecture and everything was going well, but then there came a drunk driver that killed both his parents in a car accident. That night my life truly fell apart, Mathew was far away at war and because I couldn't pay for my college education and living, I was out on the streets." I cried, my tears soaking his shirt as he hugged me close.

I tried to say even another word but my sobs started choking me up as I struggled to get a word across. Leslie hushed me gently, rocking me back and forth as I gave up on talking and just tried to calm down. Shivers rack my body as the tears slow to a stop, Leslie's hand never stopped drawing circles on my back. I curl up further into his chest taking in his scent again and letting that wash over me.

Leslie shifts so that I am lying in the centre of the bed and climbs on top of me gently kissing me before lowering himself slowly kissing any part of my skin his lips could touch. "You are so strong, you've been through so much, you've worked so hard and you have every right to be as proud as can be of the person you have become. I can only imagine how much you've struggled but you are so beautiful baby, so so stunning, so so... absolutely mindblowing. You are talented and worthy of so many things that you put past yourself. When life throws you a curveball, you fell like everyone else but you stand back up and look at you today baby, look at the empire that you created and you have no one else to be proud of but yourself."

I look up at him as he spoke, his voice shaky from what I told him but firm enough that I knew he meant every word.

"Promise me you won't cut again baby, if you ever think you are falling into that mindset, just message me a safeword and I'll call you as soon as I get my hands on a phone. Promise me you won't punish yourself anymore."

"I promise sir" I whispered as he thanked me immediately. He let himself lay on top of me slipping to my side and pulled me into him. I shifted so I was closer and he gently ran his fingers through my hair as I closed my eyes.

The comfort I craved was finally with me and as his beating heart lulled me to sleep, I couldn't help but thank the universe for giving me this. No matter what happens, even if we broke up and even if he hurt me, I promised myself that I'd let myself remember these memories as they were- simply ours.

*****

"Yeah, just give me thirty minutes, I'll look into it. Put my office hours down as 9 - 7 today."