ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴠɪʟ's sᴍɪʟᴇ | ᴋᴀʀᴍᴀ ᴀᴋᴀʙᴀɴᴇ

chapter 9

"Finally you admit it!" Rio yelled.

Isogai quickly silenced her, for she was attracting a lot of unnecessary attention. I sighed. How was I so blind? I buried my face in my hands. God, I was so oblivious.

  Do I actually like Karma? Or was I making excuses for my emotional rollercoaster? Friends treated each other like that, right? Well, there was only one way to find out.

"Rio, how do you find out if you like someone?" I asked.

"Well, it's easy. You can't stop staring at them, your heart literally does leaps and bounds out of your chest..." she trailed off.

"But we can't tell if you like him. Only you can tell, " Isogai sat himself down at our table.

"We can only see the physical things like you starting, you stuttering, but you should be able to tell your emotions apart better than us. Besides, maybe in your heart, you just consider him as a really close friend. But you have to be honest with yourself. Do you like him or not?" Isogai asked, looking me in the eyes.

"I..." I trailed off. Now that I thought about it. Did I really like him? Even if I did, was I ready to get my heart shattered into pieces by him?

"Yes, " I sighed, " I can't lie to myself,"

  Rio and Okano squealed in joy. Isogai gave me a heartwarming smile. Rio pushed me out of my seat.

"Go get him tiger!" my friends cheered me on.

For once in my life, I felt so sure about my feelings.

•

Here I stood outside Karma's house. The redheaded sadist who had been my rival since day one. Was I ready? My hand hovered over the doorbell. With just my luck, it started raining. I sighed. I wasn't ready. I couldn't do this.

And then, the door opened.

"What are you doing out here Ichika?" his eyes widened.

He hurried me in, constantly saying that I would get sick. However, I stood my ground.

"Karma, it's fine, " I said with the fakest smile I could ever put on.

I definitely wasn't ready to put m heart in the hands of the devil.

"I was just passing by to see how you were, but it started raining, " I said, making and excuse.

"Dammit Ichika, come in!" he facepalmed, pushing me in.

All the while, I kept making excuses that I had to go home, but he sat me down at the dining table and covered me in a towel. He huffed.

"Why do you always make me worry about you, Ichika?" he asked, his face softening.

Instantly, my heart raced, beating a thousand times faster than ever before. I was at his house again, but I wasn't here to study. I was supposed to be here to confess, but I was a coward. I couldn't do this.

"I'm sorry..." I apologized meekly.

Karma pressed his thumb and his index finger together against his temple, shaking his head. He sighed.

"Ichika, you're my closest friend. I don't want anything to happen to you, " the redhead frowned.

  There it was. Friend. Not just a friend, closest friend. My heart shattered. I thought I was ready for this, but I wasn't. I quickly pushed the towel off me into his hands, rushing some kind of excuse.

"I'm sorry, my mom needs me home, " I apologized, pasting a smile across my face.

  I rushed out of his house, my shoes splashing in the puddles. Tears streamed down my cheeks. The best thing about the rain was that no one could tell that I was crying.

  I thought I was ready. I thought.

  I was not ready.

•

  Once again, I sat in my seat, ignoring the redhead who was disturbing me during class. I put my finger to my lips, telling him to shut up. I was trying to distract myself from him in all ways possible. Assassination, studies, etcetera. I sighed, waiting for the bell to ring once again. Karma and I were no longer as close as we used to be. Perhaps this was because he refused to study with me. Perhaps this was because I was trying to focus on other things. But deep down, I knew that this was all my fault. If I hadn't taken it to heart, then I wouldn't have put a strain on our friendship.

"Ichika, how are you?" Karma asked.

  Just a casual question like that put me in another series of thoughts. Another wave of emotions. Another rollercoaster of life. Was I supposed to endure this? Yes. Because life is unfair.

  The loud ringing of the school bell echoed throughout the school, signaling the end of class.

"Ichika, please stay back after class, " Koro-sensei said.

  With a straight face, I walked up to Koro-sensei.

"Ichika. I can tell you're burying yourself in your work. Your behavioral patterns have changed drastically. While you used to focus on studies because of your competition, now you focus on it to distract yourself. In the past, you tried assassination pranks, not only have your assassination attempts have drastically improved, but have also become more violent towards me. What's wrong?" Koro-sensei concluded.

"I've been trying to get my mind off Karma, " I confessed.

"Ichika, you don't need to get your mind off him. While you may think this is good for you, it's putting a strain on your friendship. Although distancing yourself from him may seem ideal to you, you have no idea how hurt he must feel. During class, when he wants to talk to his closest friend, she shoots him down. When he wants to simply hang out, she insists that she needs to plan her assassination by herself, " Koro-sensei explains.

  Feeling guilty, I bowed my head. I felt stupid and petty. Thanking Koro-sensei for his help, I immediately went to find Karma, who was walking down the hill.

"Hey, do you want to study?" I asked sheepishly.

"Are you seriously asking me that right now?" He asked, a hurt expression on his face.

"I know I can never make up for what I did, " I hesitated, "But please... I want to resolve our friendship. It's the one thing I cannot afford to lose,"

  A smile spread across his face, before patting me on the head.

"Alright, just this once, " he said, chuckling.