bringing lucy home

Chapter 12: Home Again

It was a red-eye flight from Paris to Manchester but Lucy wasn't sleepy when they landed. Her nerves overwhelmed her, making her heart pound in her ears and making her mind wonder why she ever agreed to come back. She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Keira standing near the baggage claim with her red suitcase in her hands. She stared for a painfully long time.

The young midfielder rolled Lucy's suitcase up to its owner, her friend she had missed so much, but stopped a few feet in front of her. Keira's smile, her eagerness for the long awaited reunion, all faded as she saw the look on Lucy's face. It wasn't excitement, like Keira felt, it wasn't even a mean look. Lucy just looked blank and empty. Keira could hardly recognize her in this state. Lucy looked an absolute wreck. Her hand was bloody and bandaged, her foot was an awful sight, and her face was heartbreaking, the sadness and hurt showing out of her beautiful eyes. Keira's heart dropped.

The two footballers stared at each other for awhile. "I—I have your suitcase," Keira stammered, trying to break the silence. "I recognized it on the baggage claim. I—I remember we painted your name on the handle in neon paint so---so you wouldn't forget it was...yours..." her voice trailed off.

"K-Keira," Lucy stuttered. "Hi." As hard as she tried, her words didn't come out right. That Keira came after all was a shock to her.

Keira smiled, almost sadly. She stumbled into Lucy's arms. "Hi."

The girls got coffees at the airport before getting into the car and driving back to Steph's house.

"So your staying with Steph now." Lucy's voice was a half-croak half-whisper. She was completely overwhelmed.

"Well, yeah," Keira answered. "Are...are you staying the night?"

Lucy swallowed. Just the thought of facing Steph scared her. Steph had always been such an important person to her and such a close friend, but if her worst fears were true, and Lucy really had broken her teammates hearts, Steph wouldn't want anything to do with her anymore. "I don't know if...if..."

"She made up a bed for you," Keira said, as if reading Lucy's thoughts.

Lucy almost smiled. Yeah, she really smiled. "Steph knows me too well. She knew I wouldn't have thought about a hotel."

Keira frowned. "But your in Manchester now. Your home! Why would you need a hotel?"

Lucy bit her lip. Keira's words almost melted her fears away but Lucy's underlying anticipation kept her on edge. She didn't know what to expect. "How are the girls? G and Ells and them all."

"They're good...I think," Keira said, switching on the headlines as they made another turn. The night sky was rising.

"What do you mean 'you think'? Don't you see them every day?"

"For gods sake, I-" Keira started getting defensive about Lucy's questions. She sighed. "Lucy, I've just been sort of...going through it lately, ok? I haven't been hanging out much with the team."

Lucy was quiet. "Oh...why?" In their conversations, Keira had never told her that she was having a hard time. But to be fair, she hadn't exactly been real with Keira either.

Keira laughed bitterly. "Nothing. Its just..."

Lucy looked over at her. She saw Keira trying to hold back tears and something rose up in Lucy all over again, pain and sadness and all the worst feelings. She had always hated seeing Keira cry and the protective instinct in her towards her friend made her agitated. "Whats wrong." She wanted to hear it from Keira herself.

"I've missed you," Keira whispered, trying to swallow though she felt like a rock was in her throat.

Lucy dropped her gaze from Keira and stared out the window as raindrops slid down the glass. She pressed her lips together and closed her eyes tight, trying not to cry. She didn't know what to say. Was she relieved? Happy that Keira wasn't mad at her? Or was she? Obviously missing her caused and was causing Keira lots of pain, and it was all her fault. Was she guilty? But she had felt the same way. Should she tell Keira about her mind battles? About missing City and missing home...and missing her? Her thoughts filled her brain with conflicting ideas.

The city lights danced in reflections in the raindrops peacefully as her mind battled chaotically with itself. She wanted to stop hiding, from Keira, from the girls, from herself. She didn't want to make it worse but she didn't know what the consequences would be of telling how she felt. A tear fought its way from her eye and down her cheek.

She hurriedly wiped it from her face as they pulled into Steph's driveway. She pulled her suitcase from the backseat and gathered her strength to put on a good face for seeing Steph. Her heart was in her throat but she tried to hold her own hands to keep from breaking down.

She proceeded cautiously round Steph, scared to make eye contact but Steph's warm welcomes were her battle horse and her eager hugs were hard for Lucy to resist. Lucy almost forgot how understanding Steph could be, without having to say a word. She had made two cups of tea for Keira and Lucy (decaf, she remind them) and gave them the option to have it together or go to bed, and she disappeared down the hall.

Lucy and Keira took their tea but stared at each other, unsure of what to do. They both wanted to talk everything over, Lucy wanted to collapse in Keira's arms and pour her heart out, Keira wanted to discuss it over and help her, but neither of them could say a word. Eventually Keira's lips twitched upwards into a warm half-smile.

"I'm off to bed, ok Luce?" Her sweet warm eyes gazed into Lucy's, filling Lucy's heart with the medicine-like kindness it so needed.

Lucy couldn't do anything but nod, and she watched Keira as she slipped away to her room.