Salvation (Depressed Hinata fanfic)

Chapter 5

The truth hurts

  3rd pov

   Anyone could feel the tension in the air. The words that left Hinata's mouth surprised even him, but he knows this is the right thing to do. He is sure Suga will investigate if he don't take extreme measures. And this is one of them. He wanted to protect everyone, except himself. For the other boy, it was the contrary. The threat didn't matter to him. He knew deep in his heart that he won't do it. But, he still wondered what is wrong. It is something significant for Hinata if he said he will kill himself. He wasn't sure anymore which Hinata is true. The happy one? The broken one? Or maybe both? But, he couldn't mistake one thing: even the said boy didn't know who he was anymore.  He was falling from his true self just to protect those who were innocent. The truth, no one is innocent. Everyone has a secret. It doesn't matter if it was about who stole the last candy or who pushed his brother over the bridge. No. Even the smallest thing you hide from others can become your weakness. This is the truth. And now, Hinata knew that the game named life wasn't going as he wished. What was it called? Oh, yeah. Fate. Fate was probably pulling strings so he gets destroyed even worse. Maybe if he had been more careful or... No. It doesn't matter anymore. What was done cannot be repaired. He felt anxiety grow within him. What was he thinking at this crucial moment? It wasn't time to philosophize over his cruel reality.
S: " Hinata, this won't hold me back" the other boy gave him a confused look. "I can tell you have a reason to hide everything and my intuition tells me that if you die, everything you've done will be in vain. I am right?"
The orange-haired boy looked at him with admiration. Damn mother instincts. He was right.
S: "And... There is a very big chance that Daichi, Asahi and Tsukishima were listening to this whole conversation. So, your threat is invalid." He said smirking.
Fuck it... Fuck everything. These were Shoyo's thoughts
H: "Well, Suga and the rest of you. I will tell you again. I am fine and I will be fine. If anything gets off of my hands I promise I will call you for help. And now, excuse me."
He left the room. As his senior said, the mentioned guys were next to the door, looking at him worrying. Well, except Tsukishima. His eyes were observing all of Hinata's movements. It was irritating.
   
   Hinata's pov

   I need to buy some makeup. There are already too many people involved so I don't need to leave any more clues about my situation. I changed in my uniform and left the school. It was really quiet without Kageyama. It is not good for my mental health. Well, I don't think I am sane anymore but still. As I was heading home I remembered my father's words. Great! I don't have anywhere to sleep. Not to mention I still didn't eat anything and I had no money at me. I decided to head to the park next to the school. I think it is safe there and I know no one from the team goes in that direction.
  I slowly entered the park. No one was there. The fresh air and the calm atmosphere made me relax instantly. That wasn't a good decision. I felt the throbbing in my head and back hit me with great power. I don't want to mention the feeling of hunger and tiredness. I walked to the most hidden bench. I put my bag filled with stained bandages on the bench and I slowly put my head on it, resting my body as I look at the cloudless sky. I quickly slipped to sleep.
  
    Time skip

  I slowly opened my eyes. What was the time? I looked at the window. The stars were still in the sky, so it was still early. Wait... A window? I remember I was on the bench. I quickly got up from the puffy mattress that I was sleeping in and looked cautiously around me. There was no one in the room and I could hear some people talking in the other room. I quietly io opened the door. In front of me was a little girl, around 5 years old that looked oddly familiar. Holy shit. Where did she come from?
"Mom told me to wake you up. The food is ready. Let's go!" She said happily as she grabbed my hand and dragged me to the kitchen. How strong was this girl for her age?
  When we entered what seemed like the kitchen, I was meet with the brown eyes I couldn't mistake. Mom. When she saw me, she started to cry and hugged me. I can't believe it. After 9 years, I am again in the arms of the one who gave birth to me. I slowly put my hands on her back and pat her, as I try to hold my tears in. Damn it. One tear fell from my eyes as another was dripping and so on. Soon, I became a crying mess along with her. I am again reunited with them. I am so happy. The reality hit me back. I can't be with them. I don't deserve this happiness. I stopped crying and looked up, only to see Shou looking at us with tears in his eyes. This was the perfect family scenario. I am sad I need to break it.
"How did I ended up here?" I asked really confused.
"Shiro saw you and recognized you. He brought you here." Said mother as she breaker the hug, looking at my face. She didn't change one bit. Well, one thing wasn't as before for sure. She was happy. I am glad.
"Shiro?" I asked again. I had a guess about what was she gonna tell me.
"My husband. I remarried 5 years ago. And the girl you saw before is Natsu, your little sister."
  I couldn't describe what I was feeling. This was the perfect future I wanted for them. A new family and a new beginning.
"I am glad you found someone good." I said as a genuine smile appears on my face. I was truly happy for once in those years. Now, I need to go. I am sure they will be okay.
"Thanks for bringing me here, but I need to go back home. Father is probably worried." I told the lie with a straight face. Shot and mom looked at each other before turning back at me.
  "Why don't you stay for dinner. We could catch on all these years." Shou said, hiss eyes telling me whatever I say I will stay here.
"Okay then. Sorry for intruding." I said finally. Mom squeaked happily and guiding me towards the dining room. There, a tall man in his 40s was playing with the little girl. My sister. This word made my heart burst with happiness. As we walked into the room, they stopped and looked at me.
  "I am Shoyo. Nice to meet you and sorry for intruding." I said as I bowed. The man named Shiro approached me and raised his hand. I slightly flinched, which was observed by both of them. Then, he slowly put his hand on my head, ruffling my hair.
  "Don't be so formal. Call me Shiro. And raise your head. You make me feel bad." He said with a docile voice.
"Sorry..." I mumbled as I looked in his eyes. He was sober and clean.
They looked at each other before mom left the room.
"Take a seat. Make yourself comfortable." Said Shiro, as he headed back next to Natsu.
I obediently approached the table and I sat in the furthest part of it. Natsu looked at me and suddenly she came next to me.
  "Are you my brother?" She asked with her eyes sparkling. My heart broke. I wish I could say yes, but I will soon disappear from their lives. I remained silent.
I think God heard me as mom and Shou entered the room with the food. Oh, God. I didn't eat this much since she left. I didn't eat at all these years.
They put the food down and sat down. I stared at it. I was allowed to eat? I felt their gases upon me. They want me to eat? I slowly picked up the fork and took a piece of steak. I brought it to my mouth. Oh my... This is awesome. I don't even remember my last warm meal. I moaned as I chewed the meat trying to not forget its taste. I remembered I wasn't alone. I looked up embarrassed. Everyone was smiling. They weren't shouting at me. It felt like...family. I know this is wrong, but I dug in the food without patience. My stomach was finally pleased. After we were done eating, Shiro and Natsu excused themselves, leaving me, mom and Shou at the table. The warm atmosphere was still there, but the air became suddenly harder to breathe. I had a bad feeling.
"So, how was your life sweetie?" Asked mom. I know where this discussion leads. I decided to tell them the truth. This way they will hate me and leave. This is the best thing to do.
"Pretty good. I am playing volleyball as you already know."
"You know that is not what I mean. Tell me he stopped please." She begged me. I can't lie to her.
"Mom, Shou. I need to tell you something. The truth." I said bluntly ignoring her question. They looked serious at me.
"What do you mean?" Asked Shou.
"I will tell you the reason everything changed. You need to know, but." I stopped looking at them dead in the eyes. "The truth will hurt."
  "I think we can handle it." Mom added unsure.
I looked at her, then at Shou. I need to do this. Tonight will be the last time I see them. I am sorry.

               "I killed Shouma."