Losing control

C H A P T E R 5

C H A P T E R 5|   She had begun to walk around my room. A predator. She was a predator. And I was beginning to become exhausted of being her prey. It just wears a person down when they fight a constant battle, continuously, knowing that they will soon be defeated, time and time again.

My mother finally settles and stops pacing the room with her stubby feet. She looks at me with her stone cold eyes.

"I'm shipping you off," She says, " I no longer have any use of you seeing as your hideous and worthless. So you're going to live with your aunt until she no longer wants you.  After that, we'll see how long you'll survive." She finishes with a snarl. Then she gives the room a quick glance and hobbles out as quickly as her chubby little legs could carry her.

I couldn't believe it.

I'm finally going to get a taste of freedom.

I can't get ahead of myself. What if my aunt is worse than my mother? Where does she live? What should I tell Jake? Should I tell Jake? Of course I should tell Jake.

Deciding that I should tell Jake I quickly threw on my black hoodie and  pushed open my window. Although I could probably use the front door I would rather not chance it. I quickly scale the water pipe down to the little garden in the side of the house. It was littered with weeds, cigarettes and glass, all from my mother and her friends. It was a sad little thing. The garden reminded me of how messed up I was though. How messed up everyone said I was. I was sad. I was ugly. I was depressed. I was angry. I was angry at my self. And even though I've been feeling this way for a while, It has never changed.

I jog down the street as fast as I was able, careful of the cars and people in my way. When I finally reached jakes flat complex and made my way up the stairs breathless and exhausted. I was so knackered that I knew I wouldn't be able to run home as I ran to Jakes flat.

I pounded my fists on the door and paused to wait for a response. I knocked again. Nothing. I then decided to try the handle. It moved.

This is a reeaally stupid idea. I thought. To late to back down now.

I twisted the door handle and pushed it open. When I step into the apartment my hand goes to cover my quivering lips, while the other remains by my side. I rush backwards toward the direction I came from, quietly closing the door behind me. I let my back slide against it as I fell to the floor with a sob.

I love Jake.

But I guess Jake doesn't love me.