Half The Deen

Win His Heart

Win His Heart: A Psychological and Islamic Approach for Women

As women, we desire to have a deep emotional bond with our spouse. We want to be loved and adored.

We need to nourish our spouse daily with love, support and understanding.As a therapist, I have seen numerous men who are disappointed in their marriages.

Men's Top 6 Requests of Their Wives

1. Be his friend

2. Show him respect

3. Fulfill his physical needs

4. Make him feel desired

5. Make him feel appreciated

6. Create variety

#1. Be a friend:

The most important aspect of a marriage is friendship.When there is friendship, any obstacle can be overcome.

Look at the beautiful examples of Khadija and Aisha (RA) and how they showered the Prophet (peace and salat upon him) with love, providing him with true companionship. Think about your best friend and how he or she became so special in your life. It probably had a lot to do with the amount of time and effort he or she made to get to know you and spend time with you. When was the last time you and your spouse had quality time together where the focus was just on having fun and sharing?

An easy way to get started is:

1. Set a date night with your spouse and stick to it

2. Share likes, dislikes, dreams etc.

Your friends are people who accept you and make you feel happy. How accepting are you of your spouse? Are you always trying to change or nag him? These behaviors push a man away and doesn't create positive associations to you.

In order to create or strengthen friendship in marriage, try doing the following:

1. Listen, listen, listen to him - I mean really listen without being distracted, without making lists in your mind as he talks and without watching T.V. Remember what he shares with you about his work, about his goals, etc.

2. Share the highlights of the day & be supportive and understanding,

3. Find out what his area of interests are, read about them and be prepared to discuss,

4. Always say please and thank you, no matter how long you have been married

5. Eat at least 1 meal a day together,

6. Be forgiving - overlook his mistakes and flaws and train yourself to remember his positive traits (everyone has some - you just have to focus on them),

7. Plan activities together (be it traveling together, playing tennis, walking, eating out, going out for movie nights - anything you both enjoy doing together),

8. Laugh together - don't take your relationship so seriously all the time. Couples that can laugh together, stay together,

9. Have time to cuddle - being in close contact, hugging & caressing melts away the barriers, anger & frustrations. We all feel better after a nice, big hug,

10. Say nice things to each other - If you spoke to your friend the way you speak to your spouse would they remain your friend? Be honest with the answer,

11. Always make up before you sleep, and sleep at the same time. Don't lead separate lives.

#2. Show Respect: