What if I lived? ✔️

Tamlin

The wind was rustling the trees, raindrops falling like tears out of the sky onto the dimly light clearing in the Illyrian woods. Not a downpour, but just enough to piss me off with every little drop landing on my beautiful, ankle-long, violet dress. Not to even speak of my hair, the gold medallion woven into it slipping around, lying heavy on my brow. I would have to watch out when we would fly to the War-camp. It was a family heirloom, Mom would never forgive me if I lost it.

If it had been a day with good weather, bright light peeking through the leaves, I wouldn't at all be complaining about a little flying with Mommy dearest, but today? I already regretted agreeing to visit the War-camp. The only thing to do was train, something I was still proud to never have done. And watching them tear into each other? Not exactly my understanding of fun. I couldn't watch Rhys getting hurt. Except for when Azriel or Cassian took off their shirts, that could actually be interesting.

"Stop scowling" Mother had one hand put on her hips, her forehead crinkled.

Despite being the Lady of the Night Court, she still wore her old Illyrian Leathers when she went there. They looked good on her too, even I could see that. Despite being old already, she looked no day past her twenties. Probably dad's powers keeping her young.

I crossed my hands over my chest: "No. One day more or less in Velaris wouldn't have mattered. I wanted to go to Rita's with Mor, it'd be so much more fun than standing here in the rain."

As much as I wanted to see Rhys, I dreaded going to the War-Camp, because no matter his promises, he couldn't make the Illyrians treat me with respect, even as a Daemati.

"Exactly because of that fun you're not allowed to stay a day longer in that city. I won't have my daughter drunk in the middle of the street throwing herself at strangers" her eyes were already narrowed.

"I told you! It was one time!! It's not like we do that all the time" I matched her expression.

"Aditya, listen to yourself! You will not behave that way ever again. Have I made myself clear on that matter?" her tone promising consequences I'd like to avoid.

Angering my Mother always ended with her chasing me through the forest, city, whatever have you, with the promise of violence should she ever catch me. Very much a feat for special occasions, not random encounters. Especially in the thicket of the Illyrian woods where no one would hear my screams.

"Fine" I really did sound like a child.

But it was so unfair. Rhys always decided when he wanted to do what. I wasn't even allowed to decide when I wanted to eat breakfast. The personal chaperone my parents had hired to watch over me while they were busy avoiding each other made me stand up on every working-week-day when the sun came out. My days were planned through with every matter of idiocy. From learning languages of countries I'd never be allowed to visit, to mathematic problems I'd never have the problem of being confronted with. Where would I need to calculate the circumference of a Triangle? That's right. Nowhere.

Mother gripped me by the chin, her eyes surprisingly soft: "I know that you think it's boring up there, but if you watch closely there is a lot to learn from your brother and his friends."

Ah yes. The perfect little golden boy. As much as Father favored me, Mother had made it no secret who she liked better. Her understanding of respect had a lot to do with physical strength. Rhysand, leader of Father's armies, a part of them anyway, friends with two very powerful Illyrians, one of them a shadow-singer no less. That male was worthy of her respect. A brat with temper tantrums? Definitely not.

I had to bite my tongue very hard so I wouldn't spew one of the hurtful insults circling my thoughts, instead I just ground my teeth. Because she was right, there were lots of things my brother and his friends could teach me.