What if I lived? ✔️

Not ready for that

"Why are you trying to give me a tray with four bowls of Ice-Cream, Wendy?" I was rubbing my hands with a white towel.

The shadow wraith on the other side of the counter weighing all the bowls in her hand: "Because I don't want to go in the garden twice. Besides, you're going out there anyway, can't you just take them?"

I was still irritated: "And what am I supposed to do with them when I get out there? I thought we were drinking tea."

"Canna wanted Ice-Cream and since Tea is early today Elain allowed it. Now stop arguing and be helpful for once."

I grimaced scandalized: "I'm always helpful!"

She was already opening her mouth to scold me so I added: "Alright, fine, next time lead with that. Thank you for everything you do, Wendy."

"That's laying it on a bit thick isn't it?" Cerridwen was putting one hand at her hip.

"You want me to take it out or not?" I raised an eyebrow, putting the towel away.

She rolled her eyes: "Get out of my kitchen Addy."

Before Wendy could get angry I took the tray and kissed her on the cheek: "Love yuu."

The day was beautiful, the sun had come out. After about an hour with Cassian in one of oversized living rooms downstairs, the letter from Eris had been gone. I looked everywhere, but it was nowhere to be found. At first panic had gripped me, maybe Callum had found it and sent it back, but that made no sense at all, his next checkup was in three days and winnowing took such a toll on his powers he couldn't do it twice a day anyway. Another explanation was that someone else had found it, but this far no one had come to put me in a cell, so that was unlikely too. I tried not to worry too much, or it would get someone's attention.

Because sleeping had been next to impossible, after the sudden disappearance of that letter, I went to work with Elain in the gardens as normal.

The female had become a real friend in those hours we spent in the garden. In light of the recent events I needed to think about what would happen once she found out. It made me sad to think that our relationship would change. There was so much that I wanted to talk to her about, so much that only she could even begin to understand, but if she changed after... It would be her decision.

The other party that I was really worried about was Azriel. In the swift moments that we were alone I felt something that I hadn't even dared to dream of in the last fifty-seven-ish years. It made me happy and sad at the same time. Also, scared the shit out of me, but different topic. I wish that he would understand, that he would love her as much as I did, that he would want to protect her too. But I wasn't sure yet and where she was concerned, I couldn't take any chances.

When I stepped onto the veranda only Canna and Elain were there, setting the table, with four sets.

"Where's Azriel?" I put the tray down and distributed the bowls.

"He's still up in his room- Canna, stop that, yes, of course you'll get the one with strawberry Ice-Cream" Elain snatched the tip of her sleeve back form her daughter.

"Seems like you have everything under control here, I'll go light a fire under him. I want my Ice-Cream cold, not melted" Elain wasn't even listening, but instead scolding her daughter, very gently of course.

I just went back into the house.

But I couldn't resist looking in the mirror over the dresser in the hallway. I had opted for Amren's kind of clothes. A loose, high waisted pair of baby-blue pants and a matching top, shoulder free but with long sleeves. My hair was in a loose knot in my neck. I wasn't wearing any make up, but the time in the garden had given me some color.