Ocean Breeze (bxb)-On Hold

0.4 - live a little 2/2

"Success is not final,
Failure is not fatal:
It is the COURAGE
TO CONTINUE
That counts."

- Winston Churchill

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SPENCER

I had arrived outside of the mansion, soaking wet from all the rain. I was still debating one weather to go in or just run away again.

'Just run maybe this time you'll actually die'

'Go away, why are you still here?'

'Well darling, if you must know. I'm here because you haven't taken your pill yet'

'Nononononononononononono, this can't be happening, why did I have to come to this stupid party? why did I go with him? I should have just stayed at home, that way I wouldn't be off my medication'

Surprise, surprise, the voices stopped when I was having a mental breakdown. To be honest with you I think my inner self likes to see me suffer. I was about to leave because I really didn't want Nathan to see me like this.

But because of my fucking luck that didn't happen, no the door had to fucking open didn't it.

And you'll never guess who was at the door. No, go on guess.

If you guess Nathan, then you got it wrong.

It was the skinny twig, Roxy.

I mean it's not like I don't like her it's more the fact that she has a closer relationship with Nathan.

'Well, of course, she has a closer relationship with Nathan she's known him way longer than you have dickhead'

'And of course, you had to come back not even five minutes later'

'What can I say I love annoying you'

I must have been staring at Roxy because I was pulled out of my thoughts by her calling my name.

"Oi Spencer"

"Spencer"

"SpEn..."

"Huh yeah..., oh right sorry"

"So what do you want?" She started at me like was a problem but I let it slide.

"Oh right can you tell Nathan that I'm going to a hotel I'll text him the address and stuff"

"Yeah that's fine" and with that, she slammed the door shut on me. RUDE MUCH. Jesus people these days.

Considering I don't have anything to take with me, I go to a garage, that's not far from here and get a charger and plug for my phone. My phone only has like 10% left on it, so I find the nearest hotel and go there.

Nothing much happened on the way to the hotel, once I got to the hotel I looked around the lobby area then went to book a room.

Now I'm booked in and have my room key, I go there and unlock the door, my room number was 109.

Once I got into the room for no apparent reason I just broke down for the second time tonight, love my life.

'Aww is little spencey sad?'

'Why the fuck do you care?'

'I don't, just annoying you is all'

'Well, can you not?'

'Hmm I'll think about it'

Why the hell am I even still alive I've been saved every time I try something even if I don't want to be like I have no reason really to be upset, it's only because my head is so fucked up. ugh, why me? like I know I was adopted, I know I have thaslassophobia, I know I'm gay and I know I'm depressed. So why do people have to make it all ten times worse?