Once Personality Wins (Seventeen Jihan)

Lesson 30: The Hug I Really Needed

I tightened my grip on Jeonghan even more as those words slipped through my mouth.

Jeonghan was speechless, I could tell he had no idea what to think or do. I was about to push myself off but he reacted first. Instead of tightening the hug like I thought he would, he pushed me off of him, his hat falling to reveal his uncovered flushed face that was spreading with happiness. He smiled up at me as he held his grip on my shoulder and turning me around to once again face Joana.

He went on his tippy toes and whispered into my ear from behind me, "Why are you hugging me when the one person you've been waiting to hug the most is right there?"

I looked behind at him with tears continuing to stream out of my eyes seeming to not be able to stop. I nodded and slowly made my way to her. She was crying too holding her mouth in shock. She must be thinking the exact same thing as me right now. She moved forward more hesitantly but never let go of our eye contact.

Each step I took seeming to take me nowhere. I felt like the ground under me was moving me the opposite way, that the world was still against the two of us being reunited. I still felt like I was standing in place not making my way to my sister.

Was it ok to be with her? I did leave her in such a place for years, without anyway of contacting her that I was trying my best to get to her. She may think I am a trader, she may think that I abandoned her in that place all alone take my parents along with me. No no no Joshua don't think like that.

I shook my head as I tried to calm down my trembling hands and legs.

I don't know how I got this far but when I looked up again, my mouth was open as I started to cry even harder noticing how I was now only one step away from her now. She reached out her arms to me and we were now in each other's arms. Joana and I were reunited after ten years of separation.

Does she hate me? Does she not want to see my face ever again?

I gripped her tightly holding her head tightly against my chest as I cried into her head and she soaking my shirt with her tears.  I didn't want to let her go. Even if she hates me I won't let her go, I let her go for way too long now. I don't care if she hates me I will make sure that I will always be by her side.

All my surroundings seemed to disappear as me and Joana cried ten years' worth of tears.

Once we finished and I pulled her off of me and I smiled by quickly I realized that I shouldn't be, "Joana, I um...you know. Ahh"

"I've missed you so much," Joana said looking at me with those cheerful eyes I once saw every day when I woke up.

"I d-did too. but ahh...do you um hate me?" I said looking down at the floor not wanting her to answer that question.

"Why would I hate you?" She asked, but I still couldn't look up at her.

"Cause I left you. I left you at such a place. but then again your here. Who are you here? I-I-I was just about to get you...I'm so sorry." My voice was trembling, I don't even know what I am saying right now. I am numb.

"She saved me, Joshua." Joana bent to look up at me with her bright smile that I missed so much. I looked at her for a second and realized she was pointing at the queen.

I looked at Joana again and asked, "So you don't hate me? You still want me as your big brother?"

She laughed bringing me into a hug, "Of course I don't hate you, why would I go through such an adventure to come find you. But I must say I wasn't expecting to find you in this situation."

I nodded and stood up straight and turned to the queen with a desperate look in my eyes.

The queen looked at the floor in embarrassment. I grabbed Joana's hand and pulled her to the queen as I let go and kneeled onto the floor.

 Bowed my head down as it touched the floor and still couldn't help but have tears slip out once again yelling, "Thank you thank you thank you so much for saving my sister. Without you, she would have to stay there much much longer if she were to wait for me to do so. I will do anything you want me to do to repay you for everything you have done for my baby sister."

I didn't hear her say anything so I slowly looked up at her as she smiled brightly at me and kneeled down in front of me.

She put her hand on my chin and said to me, "I might take up on that offer." She said as Jeonghan pushed her over onto the floor and grabbed me.

"No mother I will not let you have him, he is mine," Jeonghan yelled glaring at the queen. His arms were wrapped around my head protectively. I was confused about what was happening.

The queen glared at Jeonghan but before she could say anything Joana bopped her head again and went on the floor sitting next to the queen, "Thank you so much Merian. Thank you for bringing me back to my brother."

I jumped up and slapped Joana's hand, "Don't do that to the queen. I don't care how long we've been apart you will be respectful." I demanded.

Joana looked at me, "But Joshua it's..."

"No butts." I said turning to the queen and apologizing.

The queen laughed, "I'm glad it all worked out. but its ok Joshua, I don't like that formality stuff and I'm pretty sure you've already experienced it but a center castle is a wild place."

I shock me head in denial, "Even so I have to..."

The queen pulled me and Joana into a hug looking at me, "You are just so cute, aren't you. I'm glad Jeonghan still has good taste. but please its really ok, Joana is like a daughter I never had to me now."

I was still against this but I turned to Joana and she smiled at me reassuring me that it was ok. I sighed and nodded.

the queen jumped excitedly and Joana smiled to herself watching her. I couldn't help but go up to Jeonghan and lean against him with a warm smile of my own.