FOULED OUT

FOUL 17

I woke up with swollen eyes because I was crying all night, I still couldn't believe that Juan left me because he got tired of me. Seriously?! Siya pa talaga 'yung napagod sa'kin. To be honest, siya 'yung nakakapagod mahalin eh at nakakapagod makipagagawan sa atensiyon niya.

I lazily get off of my bed and started prepping up for school, I won't sulk all day just because he broke up with me. I'll make sure that I'll be in my happiest self again. You will definitely regret doing this to me, Juan Gerardo Gómez de Liaño.

"Good morning, Camille." one of our helpers greeted me with a huge smile on her face. "Ready na 'yung breakfast mo."

"Thank you, ate." I replied as I sat on the chair. "Si mommy hindi pa gising?"

"Maagang umalis eh," she replied while she was pouring juice in my glass. "May meeting daw siya eh."

I just nodded my head in acknowledgement. "Ate, baka late na ako umuwi mamaya, please tell mommy nalang not to wait for me."

"Sige."

After I have finished eating my breakfast, I headed to our driver's quarter to ask him to drive me to school today. I was not in the mood to drive right now.

"Hindi ka ata sinundo ni Juan ngayon." my driver pointed out, he was looking at me at the rearview mirror.

I gave him a sad smile, "Break na po kami."

"Sorry, hija." he quickly apologized. "Dapat pala hindi na ako nagtanong."

"It's okay, kuya." I answered genuinely. I totally don't mind them asking me personal questions, they're like a family to me. "At least alam mong hindi mo na siya hahanapin sa'kin."

"Wag ka na malungkot, Camille." he said in a concerned tone. "Kung kayo talaga ni Juan, kahit gaano pa kayo katagal maghiwalay, magkaroon man kayo ng bagong relasyon babalik at babalik pa rin kayo sa isa't isa sa huli. Wag mo masyadong isipin 'yung break up niyo, kasi baka hindi mo makita na 'yung the best pala para sa'yo nasa tabi mo lang."

I heaved out a deep sigh. "Kuya, at one point, naisip mo bang iwan 'yung wife mo kasi napagod ka na sakanya?"

"Maraming beses na." he answered truthfully, without any hesitations. "Pero never ko siyang iniwan. Pag mag-isa lang ako, tinatanong ko yung sarili ko, bakit ba ako napapagod sa asawa ko? Dahil ba sa ugali niya? Dahil ba sa pag-aaway namin? O dahil ba sa mga problema namin? Kailangan mo kasi alamin kung ano 'yung rason ng pagkapagod mo. Madalas kasi, hindi naman 'yung tao mismo kung bakit ka napapagod sakanya. Minsan, dahil lang talaga sa mga problema niyo. Iba iba kasi tayo ng perspective sa buhay. Hindi tayo nagkakasundo sa mga opinions natin to the point na magiging cause 'yun ng away natin at pag madalas 'yun mararamdaman natin na pagod na tayo. Pero pag binalikan mo, saan ka ba napagod? Hindi dun sa tao, kundi dun sa mga pag-aaway niyo at hindi pagkakasunduan. That's the time na kailangan niyo na pag-usapan 'yung ganong bagay, hindi 'yung iiwan niyo na 'yung isa't-isa dahil nakaramdam na kayo ng pagod."

"You have a point, kuya." I answered, looking at the window. "But not everyone will understand you. Most of the time, people make their decisions in the heat of the moment eh. They never take time to think things like you did. Lalo na pag hindi naman talaga nila mahal 'yung tao, pag napilitan lang ganon kasi siya nung nandiyan."

My driver glanced at me, "Hindi ka mahal ni Juan?" he asked.

I gave him a fake smile, "Hindi. Si Kass mahal non, kuya. Rebound lang ako."

He shook his head in disappointment, "Gago siya kung ganon. Hindi na siya makakalapit sa'yo hanggat nandito ako sa tabi mo, Camille."

"Thank you sa concern, kuya." I sincerely thanked him. "Kahit wala lagi si daddy feeling ko may tatay ako because of you."