opposites attract || m.p.

032. || solo.~ alone.

!reminder!
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"jordyn! adam is here let's go!" my mom yelled out. i quickly slipped on my birkenstock's and went downstairs. we decided to fly to nc because no one wanted to drive for 7 hours. "mom, do you really need a suitcase?" i asked her. "hey, you know i tend to overpack." she said.

"let's go before we miss our flight." she said. for the first time i was actually sort of excited to do something, i haven't felt like this for a while. we took an uber to the airport and went through security and soon got to the plane.

"so, how have you been doing?" adam asked me. "um, maybe 5% better." i said. "i know they don't talk to you anymore but i'm on your side. i don't care if i don't know what exactly happened, i'll support you no matter what." he said. i slightly smiled, knowing someone other than my mom, dad and step mom are here for me is heartwarming.

"thank you adam, i really do appreciate it." i said. he nodded. "now i'm going to take a nice nap" he said. i did the same, i don't sleep much anymore, i have too much on my mind where i can't sleep. i've never felt this unhealthy in my life.

we finally arrived to north carolina and got our luggage and an uber to our hotel.  "okay, you guys get settle in your rooms and come to mine when you kids are ready to go out so we can eat." my mom said. we nodded and went into our rooms, i scanned my key cards and the door unlocked.

i put my sports duffel bag on my bed and sat down. i just sighed, everyday i think about that whole day. i think about all the days and nights we've spent together, and now it's gone. a whole month down the drain, my friends stood by his side, i shouldn't even call them my friends.

i laid down and tears came down. "fuck." was all i could say. i just want to go back to normal, i want to be at school, studying, going to volleyball practice with my best friend, my only friend. i want to be able to help hector with his pre-calc, i want to know how adrian is holding up as an upcoming graduate.

i want to know how soccer and track is doing for the boys. i want to know how mattia is feeling, how is he doing. i want to know if he even shed a tear for me like i did for him. i don't care how much he has hurt me, i just want to be in his arms again. i want to tell him how much i fucking love him.

breaking up with him was the best worst decision i've made. i needed to because i didn't want our relationship to fall apart because of how unhappy i was. i didn't want to break up with him because he was the first guy to show me how much me appreciated me, he showed me how it felt to be loved. and now i've lost that feeling, mattia didn't break me, i broke me.

and now i'm alone no matter what, even if my family tells me that they're here for me i'm alone. no friends. just me.

once i was dressed i walked over to my moms room, "you ready?" she asked. i nodded. she came up to me and looked at me. "jordyn, it's time to let him go baby." she said. "you can't be crying every hour of the day over a boy." i knew she was right, i can't control myself anymore. i've become so fucking emotional. i took a deep breath in. "i'm trying my best mom." i said.

she slightly smiled, "let's get going so we aren't late." she said. "hey, it's going to be okay. i promise." adam said and gave me a hug. i nodded. "thank you." i said. we left the hotel and went to a small cafe, going to cafes reminded of hector and i's friendship, we loved to go to cafes and try new things.