Breviloquent // m.c

Day Forty

Day Forty

I pulled my black jacket off and threw it on the chair. Softly, I ran my fingers through my wet and messy hair as I fell back onto the bed. It was a gloomy day. Dark and rainy. Seemed like the most fitting weather for the occasion.

When I was six, I had lost my favorite PowerRanger action figure in a restaurant and I swore it was the worst day of my life. Then when I was fourteen, I had been walking home in the ran and my books were knocked into a mud puddle. Again, I swore that was the worst day of my life. Today, I stood in the pouring down rain and watched the love of my life, my wife, my Jillian, get lowered into the ground. And I swear, today is the worst day of my life.

I let out a deep breath, suddenly remembering the note Jillian had told me about. I kept it inside my pillow case so I wouldn't read it until after the funeral, like she had asked me to do. I pulled it out and opened it up.

"Michael,
If you're reading this, then I'm no longer lying next to you, playing with your hair or kissing your face. I'm sorry I had to leave you like this, and I know there's some things that I haven't told you that you need to know.

When I met you, I never thought you would mean as much to me as you do. You have been my rock since day one. I could never thank you enough for that.

I'm sorry that I couldn't give you a family, it was all I ever wanted to do. I would have ran to the end of the earth to give you everything we planned, but unfortunately, I never made it that far. I know we talked about getting a dog, so I have set up an adoption for you. On the 21st, go to the pet store down the street. You will be picking up a golden retriever puppy (because that's what we agreed on). I used the last of my savings to buy him for you...for us. Name him something like, Gus, or Brady. I know you'll take good care of him.

I know I haven't been easy on you, Michael, but you never left my side. You have to understand that even though I'm not physically with you, I will never leave your side either.
Remember when we got married, and you were supposed to say "till death do us part", but you added "and for eternity after that"? I'm not going to let you forget that. I'll be waiting for you.

You have to promise me that you will go on with your life and live life to the fullest. If you want to find someone new, I understand. I want you to be happy. No, I NEED you to be happy. Don't stop your life because of me. I know you've never been one to cry, and I don't want you to start now. Promise me, Michael, that you will go on. But don't forget about me.

You are the one person I hold dearly to my heart. You always will be.

Thank you for everything. Thank you for my two month forever. Thank you for loving me.

Until we meet again,
Jillian.

P.S I love you, Clifford."

I wiped the falling tears from my eyes and took a deep breath. "I love you more... Clifford."

THE END