Backdoor Boy

16

Mikey stared blankly at the TV. He was watching the same cooking show he and Gerard had found a few days before. There was something about it that just reeled him in. This time, however, he was watching it by himself. Their parents were at work, so Gerard had had Frank come over. The two were in Gerard's bedroom.

Mikey jumped when he heard the doorbell ring. Confused, he stood up and walked over to the front door. He glanced out of the frosted glass windows that lined the doorway, trying to catch a glimpse of the person outside.

He opened the door and froze. "R-Ray?" he said.

Ray sighed and leaned against the door frame. "Fuck me..." Ray muttered. "I don't even know why I'm here."

Mikey felt his eyes well up with tears. He tried to blink them back. "Ray, I know you probably don't wanna see me," he said, the words tumbling clumsily out of his mouth, "But I'm sorry. I'll never be sorry enough. I'll never stop being sorry, because I care about you so much. I care about you more than I've ever cared about everyone!"

"Mikey, stop," Ray said, holding up a hand. "Listen, I... I know how you feel about me. You don't have to tell me that. I know because... dammit, I feel the same way about you. You broke my fucking heart, but I... Look, I just think it's too easy to just take you back. I-I don't want you to think that you can just do this shit to me and get away with it."

Mikey's heart lept before sinking back into his stomach. "I-I don't think that," he said quietly. "I never thought that. I never meant to hurt you. I wanna make you happy, Ray. I wanna make you as happy as you make me." Mikey lifted his hand to touch Ray's shoulder, but Ray flinched away from him. "What do you want, Ray?" Mikey whispered.

"I... What I want isn't the issue."

"Then what is the issue?"

Ray didn't have an answer to that. In fact, the question just seemed to frustrate him. He shook his head. "I-I gotta go," he said.

"Ray, wait, please-"

"No, I-I just can't be here right now." Ray backed away from the door, turned to his car and sped off. Mikey buried his head in his hands before closing the door. He sighed and turned around to find Gerard and Frank standing at the top of the stairs.

"How much of that did you guys hear?" Mikey asked.

Gerard shrugged. "Just all of it," he said. "We came out when the doorbell rang, saw it was Ray, and got nosy."

Mikey rolled his eyes. He trudged back into the living room and flopped onto the couch. He was surprised to hear Frank and Gerard come downstairs and join him. Gerard grabbed the remote and turned off the TV. "Hey!" Mikey cried. "Nathan and Jean were just about to fight!" Frank snorted.

Gerard swung an arm around his boyfriend. "You okay?" he asked.

Mikey shrugged. "Yeah," he said. "I just... I just want him back, y'know?" He felt tears pricking at his eyes again.

Frank sighed. "Mikey, I know we don't know each other very well, and I'm still mad at you for cheating on my best friend," he said. "But, Ray is my best friend. I know him. And he really cares about you, and he wants you back, too. He just isn't ready to trust you again yet. And I can't really blame him."

"I know," Mikey said. "I can't blame him, either."

"Hey, I don't know about you, but I just heard that Ray wants you back," Gerard said, slapping a hand down on Mikey's shoulder. "Just... keep trying, I guess."

"I'm gonna," Mikey said. "I'll fight for him until he tells me to stop."

-

Mikey jammed his hands into his pockets and dragged his feet on the pavement as he walked towards the coffee shop. He hoped that Ray would be working so that they could talk again. However, as he entered the diner and scanned it, he realized that Ray was nowhere to be found. He walked up and sat at the bar. Sophia came out of the kitchen, looking distressed. As she approached Mikey to take his order, he noticed that her eyes were slightly puffy. He felt a pang in his stomach.