Backdoor Boy

15

Mikey and Gerard sat in front of the television, watching some weird cooking show they stumbled across. Mikey had been thinking of asking Gerard something, but he was on the fence about it. He had been for the past hour or so.

"... Nathaniel!" cried the woman onscreen. "The potatoes! Oh, dear..." The pair laughed, and the woman turned her attention to the camera. "We'll be right back."

Gerard adjusted on the couch, leaning back and burying himself in the cushions. "What're you thinking about?" he asked.

Mikey sighed. "I think I have an idea about how to 'fix' things," he said.

Gerard looked over at Mikey. "Oh yeah?" he said. "What is it?"

"I think I have to apologize to Pete, too."

Gerard thought about it. "I mean, you should definitely do that," he said. "But why do you think that's part of fixing it?"

"Because the other day, when I was talking to Ray, he said I betrayed them both. I dunno, it just feels like that's what I'm supposed to do. It-It feels like the right thing."

Gerard patted his brother's knee. "I think that's a really good idea, Mikes," he said.

"Thanks," Mikey said. He thought for a bit before he said, "Do you think it's been long enough?"

"Long enough for what?"

"Long enough that I could even talk to Pete."

Gerard shrugged. "I don't know Pete," he said simply. "Seems like you didn't either, really."

Mikey furrowed his brow. "Why do you do that?" he asked.

"Do what?"

"You get all bitchy every time I bring up relationships, especially when it has to do with Pete."

Gerard sighed. "You really wanna know?" he asked.

"If I didn't, I wouldn't have asked."

"Don't be a smartass. Anyway, I fucking hate Pete. I have since the first night we had dinner with him. And I've been waiting for you two to break up, because it was so fucking obvious that you weren't even that into him." Mikey chewed at the corners of his mouth. He didn't respond. "Mikey, why were you with him?" Gerard asked.

Mikey shrugged. "I-I liked him," he said. "I thought he was cute. But the longer we dated, the more we were together, the more it felt like we weren't supposed to be together. But I wanted to make it work, because I needed someone to love me. I didn't want to be alone. But eventually, I guess I felt more alone in that relationship than I would have felt if I was single. But at that point, he did love me, even if it was his own weird version of love that didn't fit with mine. Even if he never listened, even just when I told him what flowers I liked. Even if he didn't understand when I was upset or uncomfortable. Even if he just didn't get me... He loved me. But we are so far from meant to be... God, nothing worked. But I thought maybe it could if I just... waited."

Gerard nodded. He was suddenly being much more sympathetic towards his brother. "Well," he said softly, "Now you know that there are better things out there. Right?"

"Yeah."

"So go to Pete, and tell him that there are better men than you out there."

"You could have phrased that better, you know."

Gerard grinned. "I could've. And yet, I chose not to. Now get out of here."

Mikey got up and grabbed the car keys out of the bowl. He called to his parents that he was going out as he left. As he drove to Pete's house, he felt himself letting muscle memory do most of the work. He parked in front of the big, white house and wondered how he had gotten there.