Backdoor Boy

13

Mikey's heart started pounding.

Oh, fuck. Frank definitely knows me. And he's definitely going to mention it to Gerard. And he'll tell him we met through Ray, because I'm Ray's... something? I don't even know what we are. But it isn't good. And then Gerard will get mad at me, and my life will fall apart.

Mikey took a deep breath. In that moment, he made a decision.

Okay, that's it. That's the last straw. Even if, by some miracle, Frank doesn't mention how he knows me, and Gerard doesn't get mad at me... I have to break up with Pete. And soon.

After what felt like an eternity, Mikey heard Gerard's door open. He froze and listened to the footsteps of Frank and Gerard. They passed right by his room, and he heard Gerard escort Frank out of the house. As soon as the front door closed, Mikey burst out of his room in an apologetic frenzy.

"Gerard, I am so fucking sorry," he said quickly. "I-I didn't hear you, and I didn't think-"

Gerard sighed and covered his face. "Mikey, stop," he said. "Just... Stop it."

"But I didn't mean to-"

"Please? Please, shut up for a second?" Gerard sighed again. Mikey took a deep, shuddering breath, and made his way down the stairs to where his brother was standing.

"I... I'm not mad at you," Gerard said slowly. "Well, no. I am. But not for... That. Don't just barge into my fucking room like that, okay?"

Mikey nodded quickly. "Yes. Gee, I'm so sorry, I-"

"Mikey. Shush. It-It's okay." It was Gerard's turn to take a deep breath. "Look, before you ask, I... I don't know why I didn't tell you. Well, I do. I mean, I know you're gay, I know I have nothing to be ashamed of around you or mom or dad. And it wasn't about that. It-It's me. It was too much for me. A-And I needed someone else."

Mikey reached out and squeezed Gerard's arm. "I understand, Gee," he said. "But I want you to know it is okay. And I'm here for you." Gerard smiled weakly at Mikey.

"Thank you." Mikey smiled at him, and Gerard regained his composure. "So, uh... Frank said he knows you."

Shit. Okay, this is it.

"Oh, yeah," Mikey said, as casually as he could.

"Who's Ray?"

"He's, um, h-he's that waiter at the diner. The new one."

Gerard nodded. "Oh, I remember that guy," he said. He looked his brother up and down. "When did you two start hanging out?"

Mikey shrugged, his heart now pounding. "A few weeks ago," he said. "He's cool."

Gerard shoved his tongue in his cheek. It was obvious he thought that Mikey was keeping something from him. Mikey was grateful that Frank hadn't mentioned anything about his relationship with Ray.

Wait. Did Frank mention it? Is Gerard just waiting for me to admit it? God, I feel like I'm gonna throw up.

"Is he the friend you've been spending so much time with?"

Mikey opened his mouth, but only a stammering attempt at a response came out. "I-er, um... Yeah, I-I guess so."

Gerard bobbed his head. "You should introduce us sometime." Before Mikey could respond, Gerard had turned and gone back to his room.

-

R: Hey. You still wanna hang out today?

M: sure :) when do u work?