I Love You and I'm Sorry

Goodbyes

Hey guys! This is an author's note. 

Since there is so much angst in this story, I decided to take a break. In other words, this chapter is filled with fluff, so much fluff. Don't worry, the angst returns next chapter... As for what this chapter is, it's all in the title. 

Enjoy!

- try_again_love

Edit: Nevermind, there's still a lot of angst in here. Buckle up, it's gonna be a long ride. 

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Trigger Warning: mental illness, self-harm, panic attacks

1. Detective Rosa Diaz

Jake scanned Shaw's looking for Rosa. 

"Peralta, over here." Jake sat down next to her at the bar and they greeted each other briefly.

"Why did you invite me here?" Rosa asked.

"Don't know, I just felt like we haven't drunk in silence together in a while," said Jake. Rosa gave a small nod in response, then she ordered two Bellinis. 

"Thanks, but since when do you drink Bellinis?" Jake eyes her questioningly. 

"Remember? Amy made me try them at my wedding"

"Oh right, the one where you got the whole squad drunk because you didn't want to get married," he laughed.

"They are responsible for their own actions," Rosa replied with a perfectly straight face. 

The bartender slid the two cocktails across the counter. Jake reached for one, but Rosa smacked his hand away. 

"I never said that was for you," Jake shot Rosa his best puppy eyes, "Fine, but only if you buy the next round. And if you stop making that stupid face."

Jake agreed desperately, "You got it."

"I want shots. Strong ones." Jake smiled and snatched the Bellini, nearly spilling it on himself. Rosa cackled. 

After a few more rounds, Rosa piped up, just a little drunkenly. 

"Hey, do you wanna get out of here?"

Jake raised his eyebrows playfully, "Rosa, I'm married." 

She swatted him, "You know that's not what I meant. Anyways, I'm done drinking in silence. I wanna go sit in a park. In not-silence." She grabbed his hand and dragged him out of Shaw's. They walked together in the crisp cold air until they got to Prospect Park. As Rosa had requested, they sat down on a bench.

"You're not okay," Rosa stated matter-of-factly. 

"What are you talking about?" Rosa rolled her eyes and gave him a look that somehow managed to convey all of The last time we spent alone time together, it was in a random Brooklyn alleyway and you were shaking so hard you couldn't walk. 

"Fine, but I feel good right now, so I don't want to talk about it." For once, Jake wasn't lying. He'd had a good night, and a warm fuzzy feeling in his chest that he was pretty sure wasn't only from the alcohol. 

Rosa seemed to understand, "Listen to death metal?"

"Sounds good." Rosa shoved a pair of headphones in Jake's direction, and then put an arm around him as he put them on. 

Jake tentatively rested his head on Rosa's shoulder, shifting until he found a position where the headphones weren't in the way. He relaxed when she didn't object. 

A few songs later, she paused the music.

"You hate this, don't you?"

"Only a little bit."