Deal With It ✓

Nine: For The Better

Song: I'm Warping Here // Feng Suave

#23 on #littlesister is my newest impressive ranking!

Y'all, when I published the last chapter I was on 100 views, now I'm on 395?

What the fuck, that's crazy!

Thank you (especially to itdobelikethattt for all their comments)!

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I struggled to get out of bed.

As soon as I had woken up, my body was urging me to tuck myself back under the comfort of my covers so that I could go back to sleep. My brain, however, argued against the urge, forcing me to mentally run through everything I had to get done today, including a business lunch I had to attend with a representative of one of Amity Industry's suppliers. It felt like my body had a mind of its own as I walked around my room getting ready for the day.

Usually, I didn't mind having to go to work, I knew it's what I had to do and I did it without question (after I've accepted the position, anyways). But today, my body felt like it was deliberately weighing itself down just so that I wouldn't go to work; it wanted to stay at home, to do nothing. My mind, on the other hand, was doing everything in its power to get me out of the house, to go to the glass building, to the office, because if I didn't, I'd feel guilty, which would make me feel like complete shit. I realized that I didn't have the energy to deal with anything, both mentally or physically. It felt like I was at capacity, I was dealing with so many things at once that I didn't even know what I had to deal with.

I guess I was having an off week, but I reassured myself that this was just a temporary thing, that I'd eventually get over it.

The house was silent, and I've grown comfortable with it. It allowed me to relax, and although I didn't like being alone, the silence enveloped me like a hug, making me feel more comfortable than if there was noise everywhere. I remembered the day I had woken up with a migraine and cringed at the amount of noise there had been that day. I preferred the silence now.

Amber came down the stairs, her Nike sneakers making a loud thud every time they made constant with the steps. She walked into the kitchen and took a seat at her usual stool pulling out her phone from the back of black jeans.

"Alright, big bro, what kinda eggs are you whipping up today?" She questioned brightly, excited to have breakfast. The girl loved to eat.

I suppressed a groan at the thought of cooking; I really really didn't feel like making breakfast. I was too tired to do anything, and I knew that, deep down, I'd slowly grow agitated at the thought of doing something I didn't want to do.

I looked at my sister and wanted to tell her to make her own breakfast– maybe some toast or a bowl of cereal, but once I saw her eager expression, I started beating myself up for even thinking of not making her breakfast. It was our routine now, I made her eggs and she watched me cook in anticipation.

It was at that moment that his words started ringing in my head, "But I have to question whether you have Amber's best intentions at heart." Fuck if I didn't feel like the most useless older brother ever, but I put my all into trying to be Amber's best legal guardian. Having someone– a stranger– question my efforts turned out to have really affected me, and it felt like I might as well have not attempted the whole guardian thing.

I shook the thoughts out of my head and turned around so I wouldn't have to plaster a forced smile onto my face,  "How about some normal sunny-side-up eggs?" I asked, my back facing her as I reached for the cupboard above the stove to pull out a pan.