Deal With It ✓

Thirteen: The Shopping Trip

Song: Bang! // AJR

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Amber and I's fight, although long forgotten, was much needed. Our exchange of unpleasant words allowed us to develop a newfound understanding for each other and how stressful dad's death has been on us. She was now aware of how her actions have worse consequences than what the average family would face, and I realized that I should step up a bit and put in the effort to be more present in her life so that she wouldn't feel as insecure as she did the night of the party.

Clearing everything up with Amber also allowed me to gain a bit more confidence when it came to being her legal guardian. Having her be aware of how CPS was watching our every move, and allowing her to confess how she felt at the party resulted in me understanding what it was that I had to do as her guardian to avoid situations like this. I felt like I had control again, and it felt good to know that my life wasn't spiraling out of control, although sometimes it felt like it.

The slight shift in our relationship allowed us to be more comfortable in each other's presence. In these past thirteen-years-and-a-bit of Amber's existence, I've never felt closer to her than I did after we apologized to each other. I started putting in the effort to be more aware of how she lived her life, making sure she was knew that she could talk to me about anything, and she did.

The day we fought, she had screamed out that 'dad wasn't here' which left me speechless for a while. Once I thought it over, I realized that we've never discussed how his death had affected us, instead, we tried to go about our newly-changed lives and ignored how it had happened. We were aware we both fell into what I called a 'funk', but we've never verbally discussed it, and I recognized that that was a problem, however, I didn't know how to approach the conversation.

I couldn't just walk up to her and say, "Hey, let's talk about dad's death." Technically, I could, but I knew that wasn't the right way to start a conversation about a topic that loomed over us like a dark, heavy, grey cloud.

But I knew that we'd have to talk about it at some point.

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I was sat in my new favorite spot on the couch in our living room. It was after midnight, and the house was dark and silent, just how I liked it. The faint light from a floor lamp dimly illuminated the room so while the entire room was plunged in darkness, the corner I sat in was lit up enough for me to finally review the plans made regarding the gala that was being held by Amity Industry.

Although I put Lillian in charge of arranging and planning the gala, I still had to oversee the expenses and how it was organized. The event was going to be a Memorium of my dad– I had started a charity organization to help fund cancer research and treatment for those who can't afford it, and the gala was planned to help raise donations for the charity.

Sometimes, working in a field that allowed you to be surrounded by millionaires came in handy.

"Dylan?" A soft voice that sat between a whine and a whisper sounded from the darkness, and I felt my soul escape my body when Amber emerged from the void. I must've been concentrating so much that I didn't hear her descend the stairs.

Using my phone to turn on the lights, I found my sister dressed in one of papa's hoodies and her shorts peeked from below its hem. Her hair was pleated into two intricate dutch braids and she had some frizzy strands standing up on her head. My eyes flickered between her and the portrait in which her hair was styled into two pigtails and I couldn't help but think that she'd barely grown up– she was still a baby.