Billie and Brandon: It requires time

9

Billie wanted to say she and Brandon were "dating" after the night they spent together, but the truth was they weren't.

Not even close.

Billie was too engraved in her social image. Even though she had no qualms being Brandon's friend in public, truth was, she drew the line when he wanted to kiss her or even hold hands. She wound up trying to hide their relationship and pretended like they were nothing but just friends. She knew it annoyed Brandon, and it made things awkward when Billie wouldn't correct people hitting on her that she already had a boyfriend.

It was like nothing had really changed to be honest, although in private they absolutely couldn't be mistaken as anything but a couple.

To an extent, Brandon also wanted to keep his relationship with Billie partially hidden too, but his reasoning was that he didn't want her to be harassed by some of the other popular people at school and some of the nastier cheerleaders as well as some other girls he'd slept with who couldn't seem to take a hint that he wasn't interested.

But Billie's reason was because she didn't want to risk her reputation. She'd spent years building up her cred with the people she knew. Years becoming something like a mentor to those other younger rebels. She and Gawa were basically the leaders of their friend group. The last thing she wanted to be seen as was a sellout. She didn't want her reputation to diminish because she was dating someone "mainstream". Someone the other rebels wouldn't consider dating material considering their interests. Her and Brandon? They just didn't work. A rebel and a jock dating sounded as preposterous in her mind as it looked written on paper.

She was being a coward, she knew.

And Brandon wasn't happy with it at all.

"So how long are you going to keep up this secret boyfriend thing?" Brandon asked he tugged on his pants, glancing at her over his shoulder with an irritated raised brow. "It's been a month, Billie. Don't you think it's time we went public with our relationship?"

Billie bristled, stopping in finger combing her hair. She stared down at her comforter, chewing her lower lip with furrowed brows.

"What's wrong with the way things are now?" she asked, slightly defensive.

He'd been bringing up that question every once in awhile for the past couple of days, and Billie knew he was starting to get fed up with her behaviour. But she didn't want to go public.

"You know damn well what the problem is" Brandon muttered under his breath as he yanked his shirt from the ground.

"No, I don't see a problem, actually." Billie responded, pulling her top back on. "Enlighten me"

"Fine" Brandon growled. "You know what the problem is? I just don't feel like we're in a relationship. And I don't see the point in us being together if you're too ashamed to be seen with me"

"Ashamed? That's a pretty strong word."

"Well that's what it is, isn't it? You're too ashamed to be seen with me. You don't want to risk losing your cred with the rebels by being with me. That's shame, Billie"

"...That's not... That's not it, Brandon"

But she knew that was exactly it, though she would use the word scared over the word ashamed.

Brandon sighed. "Billie, what are we?"

"We're..."

She fell silent, unsure how to answer his loaded question.