Alley [Interactive]

Ending Three: Chapter one

'You can't correct what you aren't willing to confront' - Unknown

"I think I need to confront him." I say and look down, my legs swinging slightly over the edge of the island.

"Really?" Santino asks. "You just ran away from him, travelled for hours, and you want to confront him?" He asks, shaking his head slightly.

"Not right now. But I don't want to run away from my problems, Adrian never did." I say, thinking back. "I can't have this hanging over my head. I needed to run, now I need to go somewhere where he will find me in a few days and be ready to talk to him." I say, waves of frustration washing over me, making tears prick at my eyes and making Santino watch me more carefully.

"Ali." He whispers nervously.

"I deserve answers. And I can only get them from him." I tell him. "You know part of me was relieved when Adrian passed, he was finally out of pain and the constant fight inside him stopped. I truly believe him passing was a kindness in some ways. Even for me, I could stop worrying about him. While part of me blames me for his death, part of me is glad I don't have to be worried about how many days are left with him because they're gone. But I have so many regrets. And I don't want any regrets with Sebastian." I say, wiping away the tears and feeling a trickle of determination join my cocktail of emotions. "I am not going with proper expectations. But I am at least going to try to get something out of it. That way I can finally end this, however it is going to end." I say with a small shrug, understanding anything can still happen.

"Are you sure?" He asks, still concerned.

"Yeah." I say. "It's the only way it will be properly addressed." 

"Where are you going to go then?" He asks.

"Probably back to the retreat site. He owns it, the staff will let him know if he doesn't find out by himself." I explain and nod a little, feeling confident in the idea.

"That means you have time to say goodbye to the others, right?" He asks. I smile a little and nod. "Good." He says, relieved.

"I want to say goodbye, but I'm not going to change my mind, no matter what they say." I tell him, just in case he is relieved because of that. I love my boys with all of my heart, but I know I have to do this.

Once the boys have calmed down after I explain why I have come home early, I tell them my plans to leave. And surprisingly, they understand better than I thought. They stay quiet for a minute, so I just watch them as they look at each other, talking through eye contact to keep me in the dark.

"Do you have to?" Gabriel asks. I look him in the eyes, with a little extra hurt in them, and I nod. 

"I don't want to be sad here, and I need to talk to him, get it over with." I explain. "If it was any of you, or Adrian if he was still here, I'd do the same. Sebastian deserves a chance to be heard and I need to ask my questions." I tell them and look down.

"Okay." Peter says with a small smile, Axel soon agreeing too. I nod and stand, announcing I'm going to pack and going to my room again.

I hear the boys talk quietly before going downstairs. I put Adrian's sheets in a new bag since I ripped the old ones. I smell them before closing the bag and I turn to my suitcase, seeing Gabriel by the doorframe.

"How long will you be gone for?" He asks.

"I doubt longer than a week." I say honestly, putting my suitcase on my bed and emptying it of all the things from this last, overall awful trip, so I can fill it properly again with my own things, packing extra clothes I kept from Adrian as comfort items.