'Love takes off the masks we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within." - James A Baldwin
I wake up to rain as I am pulled out of my dreamless sleep. I stare at the window as the rain rolls down the glass. I sigh and turn to watch it while Adrian's faint scent stays floating around me. We used to share this room until he moved out. I can still see the indentations on the carpet from his bed and a fainter one closer by from the shelf we had to separate us a bit. I sigh and stare at the ceiling. I don't want to feel like this anymore but I don't think I can move on; it would feel wrong.
"Ali, breakfast!" Tía shouts from downstairs. I tear myself from my bed and I put Adrian's hoodie back under my pillow. I redo the bun in my hair and walk slowly downstairs. The kitchen is fairly small but Tía always finds a way to make way too much food. I sit in the only other chair in front of Lilly as she eats a sausage dancing to a cartoon in her seat as she eats. I grunt slightly and rest my head on my arms as the want to go back to sleep begins to wash over me. "You look good." Tía laughs.
"I feel it." I mumble. She presses a warm plate against my shoulder and I jump slightly before laying back so she can put the plate in front of me. I stare at the food and push it around as I try and wake up.
"I signed you up for a small business class." Tía says. Finally, my ears prick up and I send her an annoyed questioning look.
"What?" I ask, unimpressed and getting pissed off.
"Cathleen told me at work. Ashwood Industries are holding a small business class for people either running or wanting to run a small business. They are getting their executives and other large business executives to hold a class and maybe a retreat too." She says.
"Why the f-hell would you do that?" I ask, trying to remain calm for Lilly. It's my business; why would she do that to me? "Do you think I am doing a bad job or something?" I ask, the thought cuts deep. It's Adrian's business, he loved it, it's mine now and I have to do a good job for him.
"No, no Chica." Tía says before sighing deeply. "I just think it would be a good idea to have that extra boost." She says. "It will be good for networking." She says in surrender as my glare intensifies doesn't faulter. I take a deep breath and run my hand over my hair.
"When is it?" I ask. I can't be annoyed at Tía, she means well. She smiles softly and forwards the email to me while checking the start date.
"Ay! It's tomorrow. Sorry Niña I was going to take you shopping for proper business clothes but I won't have the time. I thought it started next week." She says. I take a deep breath and shake my head casually.
"It's okay Tía. I'll be staying at the back and all black should be fine." I say as I pick at my food. She checks the time and rushes to get Lilly ready for school. Once ready they leave and I go back to bed. I check with the boys if they could open up depending on what happens tomorrow. Santino says he can and he can close tonight so I can sleep so I go to sleep until I have to get ready for work. I need to prepare for tomorrow too, at least work tonight will get me prepared for more human interaction.
Adrian always told me to take it one day at a time when I was scared about something, so that is what I am doing. I hum quietly to the music to make sure my worries stay away while I zone out pouring drinks.
I have gotten better, a bit more used to Adrian being gone over the past few weeks. I can't lie it makes me feel guilty. If I move on, I might forget; what kind of sister would I be then? After the boys play Adrian's song, I catch myself mainly pouring his favorite whiskey if people don't ask for a specific brand. Some people come back to the bar to tell me they like it so I feel better, I guess I keep him alive like this.
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Alley [Interactive]
RomanceLosing her brother was Alice's worst nightmare. He was her light, her safety blanket; her home. Losing him would not only mean losing their road trips from Seattle down to California but she would lose part of her identity. How will she move on and...