"So Ava, you've turned Australia into a frenzy. Are you & Kalyn really separated?" The reporter asked me and I sighed, nodding.
"Yeah, we are Katie." I answered, looking down at the tissue in my hand.
"And was it a mutual decision or was it someone more than the other?"
"It was more our futures & the directions that we were heading in just weren't the same anymore. But Kalyn was the one who ended it."
"But on our last interview, you both sounded like you were heading in the same direction. What's changed since then?"
"My health honestly." I sighed, rubbing my hands together.
"Your health?"
"I'm not sure if you're aware, but I was involved in an accident a few months ago & was in a coma for just under a month. I fractured my pelvis in the accident so they had to remove half of it in order to save it altogether. Although it saved me, I'm no longer able to have kids & get pregnant. Kalyn wants his own biological kids, and I can't be mad at that. If I had the choice I'd take that too, it's just shitty how you think things will work out & then they don't."
"Wow, I'm so sorry. We weren't aware your health was so at risk during the time. I'm sure that must have been so difficult for you to hear after being in a coma for so long?"
"It was such a hard thing to hear. Those were some of the hardest few months I've ever been through, I can't even explain it. I was the girl who always dressed as a mom for Halloween & career days. I'd have the baby on my chest and walk around with a little pram my dad had brought for me. That's the only future I actually seen for myself. Becoming a mom & having a big family with a man I loved."
"That sounds so heartbreaking. I've got two young kids myself & it's always what I've dreamed of doing too, much like you. I'm honestly terribly sorry. So what are the plans for you Ava? Obviously you've still got your business, Sabo Skirt, but what else is in store for you & your future?"
"I'll actually be moving back up North in the next few weeks."
"Wow, big change."
"Well I've got all my friends up there moving back to my hometown & starting their families, my parents & my siblings are all there so it'll just be a little less lonely for me. I love Newcastle & the people here, but it's not my home. I was actually supposed to move back North a few weeks after I met Kalyn but I cancelled it. I couldn't leave him, especially when we had just gotten so close & my feelings were progressing quicker than ever. I knew he'd be worth it all in the end."
"And was he worth it all? Even though you are no longer together?"
"100%. I've never met a more loving person. He was my rock, my safe place & the first guy I'd ever loved. I used to watch him play football all the time & he had that something special about him. Apart from how gorgeous he looks, he's got the biggest heart of gold."
"And you & Kalyn are on speaking terms?"
"Yeah, it wasn't a dirty ending at all, heartbreaking yes, but not dirty. It was so bloody tough but he did what he had to & I can accept that."
"How much did Kalyn mean to you?" She said and gave me a sad smile.
I felt the tear slide down my face and I quickly wiped it away.
"Oh god, he meant the world to me. You know that feeling like you're home & safe & everything would be okay, that was him for me." I shrugged and the interviewer smiled.
"And I mean, you met when you were both quite young. What was that feeling when he told you you wouldn't be able to have kids with him?"
I took a deep breath and grabbed another tissue, that was one of the worst days of my life, it was so hard to go back to think about it.
"I felt like such a failure honestly. The pain in his eyes when he had to tell me was heartbreaking & hearing the news just made my stomach drop."
"You felt like a failure?"
"I did, all I can remember is that I kept telling myself that I wasn't able to do one of the biggest & best things that women can do."
"Do you think you've accepted it?"
"I don't think I'll ever accept it. I've learned to move on from things that I can't change, but no, I haven't accepted that I cannot have my own babies." I sighed and she nodded, grabbing my hand, giving me a sympathetic smile.
"Sorry." I whispered, wiping my face with the tissues.
"It's fine honey, take your time."
"Do you think you & Kalyn will ever rekindle your love for eachother?"
"My love will always be there for him. I really hope we do, my life just will never be the same without him in it. But I'm putting the ball fully in his court now, if we do, it'll be because he came back." I nodded and she smiled.
"I'd personally myself like to thank you Ava, thank you for being so honest & raw. You're an inspiration for a lot of women."
"Wow, that means so much to me. Thank you so much, despite the tears and everything, I've actually enjoyed talking with you today."
"I hope we get the opportunity to do this again. Thank you so much for joining me today Ava."
"Me too, it was my pleasure. Thanks for having me."
They unplugged my microphone & I waved to them all.
"Thank you very much guys."
