Of Soot And Cinders

XIV

SOOT

Though everyone else laughed and poked fun at him, I found it enduring that Grimm smothered me in a large hug the moment Madalena and Isa decided we were done with the fitting.

They'd shown me swatches of cloth, made of material I didn't know existed until then (and still wasn't sure if it was more than a dream). Isa had handled me gently as she wrapped marked strips of fabric around my waist, my arms, my shoulders and thighs and chest and even my neck.

I had been asked to stand naked, something that didn't bother me, but Madalena made a little embarrassed squeak when she realized I didn't wear garments under my pants. We didn't continue until she had gotten me a pair from one of the staff.

Isa didn't flinch at the scars littering my back, though I did notice her be extra careful to not look too long at my legs. Madalena, however, was not as quiet about the state of my body as her mate was. She balked, and hissed and ground her teeth, mumbling all the while about some injustice or something.

I wondered what my back looked like, I'd felt that pain nearly all my life but I had yet to see what that sort of pain looked like.

Soon enough it was over, I was dressed again, and though it wasn't nearly as bad as being flogged it still left me drained. And as if he could see it Grimm caught me up in his arms, placed a kiss on my temple, and carried me to his room.

We laid in silence for awhile, time forgotten, staring into each other's eyes. I studied his face, I wasn't sure I'd be allowed to see it—see him—feel him like this again. I knew what awaited me at the palace. And I knew Grimm could not save me, not that I was worth it. His delusions of my worth would disappear when I showed him my mark. I was surprised he hadn't seen or felt it, but was thankful nonetheless.

And though it was selfish, and it was cruel to deceive him and sully him with my touch I wrapped my arms tighter around his neck. I felt so safe in his arms.

"What are you thinking love?" His voice was calm and my body softened into it.

He cradled me in his arms as we laid in bed, Our foreheads and chests and hips and thighs were pressed together as tight as we could manage and though we hadn't moved, hadn't spoken more than a few words, I was out of breath. My mind traveling to a place I had never imagined, to a place where I would be safe while being intimate.

I spoke honestly, there was no time for me to do otherwise. "Your arms around me. Your chest against mine. Your lips —"
I leaned forward to kiss him, and while I had intended to tell him every way I wanted him to touch me. Actually wanted his body and mine to—to be joined. He seemed to already know, and his hands and mouth began wandering and he rolled on top of me and his hips and thighs held me down.

I could feel my body reacting. I had felt it before, as it had been drawn out of me against my will, at hands that bruised. But this—this time as my body reacted—already had my skin humming for more.

Grimm pulled back and his eyes were clamped shut with concentration. "Tell me where I should stop. What line I should not cross." He opened his eyes, staring into mine.

And though I could think it, think of being completely unclothed and unashamed I remembered my scars, the litany of torn flesh showing my disobedience and my failures. I could not let him see me, even though there was nothing more I wanted.

"I—I don't want to remove my clothes. I'm sorry—I—" I had to look away, biting my lip against my own words.

His fingers guided my face back to him. "There's nothing to apologize for."

And that was it, he didn't try to console me with his words but instead showed me with his body.

He didn't once reach under my shirt, or under my waistband. Not did he try to remove his own clothing. His hand slipped under me and pressed flat to the small of my back over my shirt so he could lift me closer. His other hand was pressed deep into the pillow my head was on, keeping his weight from crushing me.
He kept his lips on mine at first. And I kept my arms around his neck. But slowly his hips began to move. I gasped at the feeling.

I found my body moving against his, searching for friction. The rumble in his chest only spurred me on, I lifted my legs to wrap around his waist. And though they were weak I was able to use them to pull him down onto me.
His bodyweight fell into mine with my pulling and a sound I didn't know I was capable of making left my lips. His full weight seemed to be placed on his hips and with him on one side and the mattress on the other I began to grind against his body.

He broke his lips from mine, he growled and the sound was one that belonged to the beast I knew hid under his skin. He pulled his hand from under my back and placed it on the other side of my head, leaving me framed between his arms. His lips met with mine once more before he began to trail them down my jaw and neck.

The pace in which he ground against me sped up and I made that sound again, a sigh but—but— he made a returning growl and I gripped tight to his hair in response.
I was not in control of my body then, I didn't realize how I might be hurting him with my hands.

I felt a knot build in my stomach. Tight like I hadn't eaten, but not with the same pain. No there was nothing but pure pleasure—

He quickened his movements. My body jumping with the feeling. He removed his mouth from my neck and held his lips by my ear breathing hard, I took that opening.

My mouth met the juncture of his shoulders and neck with sloppy accuracy. I pressed my lips hard into his skin leaving wet trails as I moved up his neck and down his shoulder.

Soon my lips met his again, and together our bodies sang.

Though the day had been filled with nothing but me and Grimm and peace. My nightmares made my sleep restless with thoughts of arriving back at the palace, of having to step off that carriage and once again become Soot.