Be More Chill Oneshots🌼🌸

richjake - figuring things out

Rich's PoV
I walked back into the building, avoiding every eye contact, especially Jake's. I could almost drown in my hoodie, hoping noone would recognize me.

But only after a few minutes, someone yelled my name. And of course that someone was jake.
I took a deep breath and looked up, seeing him coming towards me... in a wheelchair. I immediately regretted looking up and tried to disappear in the crowd. But jake was faster than I thought. Before I could go through the students, he grabbed my wrist. "You owe that to me", he said. I stopped, someone stumped into me but I didn't bother to look at them. "I can never make that up to you, Jake. We need to start facing things, as they are: it's my fault. I can't give you back, what you lost. Not only your house, your legs... also that whole squip thing. It's all my fault. And I don't deserve to live anymore. So i tried to do it and just made everything worse. Zo... let'z face it, it's better if you ztop talking to me before it gets even worse", I mumbled, not daring to look into his eyes. "How could things get worse anyway", Jake said and laughed, "Also let's go through it again. You say it's all your fault? It's not, you've been controlled by that evil tik tak-" "and if I hadn't took it in the first place, noone would! I wouldn't have convinced Jeremy to take his zquip, noone would! And your house wouldn't have burnt down. It was right all along: I don't deserve to live" "shut up you-", Jake hissed at me. "You tried to kill yourself? Why didn't you tell me? I could have helped you!" Jake grabbed my wrist tighter and pulled me closer to him. I shook my head slightly, tears running down my cheeks, leaving darker drops on Jake's sweatpants. "We'll figure this out together."

"Take my hand... there we go", I said holding Jake, as he stood up with new splints. He let go of my shoulders, standing now all by himself. "I'm doing it, Rich", he whispered, tears streaming down his cheeks. "Yes you are! You're doing great, Jake!", i cheered, wiping away my own tears. Suddenly, Jake started to struggle and toppeld forwards. I catched him, struggling to stand with his full weight on my all of a sudden. "Let's sit you down again, big boy", I said. Together we managed to sit him onto our bed safely.

After losing his house, he moved in to his grandfather. It was awful there. Jake never told me why but for some specific reason, he hated his grandson. So I let him live here. My parents also thought, it was the least they could do after this thing. The first days I insisted to sleep on the couch. But we decided to screw it and share a bed, not only because it was more comfortable, but because we both would wake up in the middle of the night, being haunted by awful memories. So now we always had someone for comfort.

It meant more to me though. Until recently, Jake was my best friend and not more. But somehow, I started to like him. More then a friend. More than I should...

"I'm sorry, Rich", Jake whispered quietly. "What are you sorry for? You did nothing wrong!" "I'm a burden, I can't even stand by myself. And you still let me live here and give me food and all but I can't give you anything back." He started to cry again, harder this time and out of a breakdown, not joy. I opened my arms and he leaned against me, his arms around me tightly as he sobbed into my shirt. "You being my best friend is more than enough, Jake. I wouldn't want you to go back to your grandfather, who only hates you because-  why does he even hate you?", I tried calming him. I felt a soft vibration, where Jake mumbled something into my stomach but couldn't hear what he said. "What did you say?", I asked softly. "Cause I'm gay. Or pansexual, if you want", he admitted, "and if you don't want me to stay in your bed with you anymore or be that close to you it's okay, I get it and-" "dude, I'm bi myself, why should I have any problem? I'm proud of you", I answered, smiling at him. Jake smiled back, a giggle escaping his lips. I started to laugh too.

Somehow we ended up like this: I was laying on top of Jake, his one hand in my hair, his other hand around my waist. My arms were on each side of Jake's head, supporting my weight, my legs stretched out, having his in between my legs. "You're a dork, Richard Goranski", he said. His fingers played with the red part of my hair. "Aw you love me, Jake Dillinger", I replied with a confident grin
Truth: I was freaking out internally. What if he took it in a romantic way? It's not like I didn't mean it like this but he didn't have to know. He doesn't like me back, so what's the point in telling him?
My thoughts were interrupted by a laugh. "And once again, you're right", Jake laughed and all of a sudden kissed me.
I would lie if I said I would have been chill. In reality I squealed and basically dropped my full weight on him, kissing him back. Jake pulled away from me again and laughed again. "Yeah, I definitely love you, Richard Goranski"