Rantbook d'un fou.

Night Rememberings

I just woke up
The feeling of missing something I need and love so much is starting to mess with my head and body

I find myself waking up with pain
Having something so close to my heart but yet so far

Just wanting you close enough to hold your hand
See your smile
Feel your love
Stare into your gaze

Here in my bed
Trying to remember every moment together
Sharing my feelings
Because of the grief I feel for having been not so good
Not so loving and amazing as you

Thinking of the time I decorated a christmas tree with a girlfriend for the first time

The first person not from my "family", the first person since I was 6

Years later finding myself with someone that somehow seems to love me more than my actual family
Letting me decorate her living room
Her windows

Remembering the time I spent a night in your bed

The first time I spent an amazing new years Eve.
Side by side, playing card games I had missed out as a kid

Seeing people smile, laugh, play, being happy together
Instead of fights and screams

You said you didn't know what it meant to me

It means the world.
I hadn't played with a family for...
Well it seems like forever

I guess you're fixing my childhood
Giving me a life I didn't have

A LIFE my hope....
You gave me a night that I could never have had
A night I had never had

Sometimes I liked dreaming of things I didn't have

That night ressembles a lot of one of those dreams I never thought was possible.
Never have I ever been so happy with someone...

Today you told me I couldn't be sure I would never leave you

I'll prove you wrong just like you proved to me a life could change that much in so little time

How you showed me my impossible dreams weren't so far fetched.

Seeing someone being so happy me being there...
Just warms my heart every time I see you
And that night, your whole family invited their best friends they knew since highschool

And you decided to invite me, with all your loved ones

I don't know how to explain
But...

I mean I just love you so much
If our relationship was based just on that night I could maybe live of it forever and love you like hell, that's how much it meant.

So imagine that, plus all the other things that happened, that we did
That you did for me...

Hope, i could never leave you
I want you to be the one
The love of my life

For Real.

Je sais que j'ai parlé de très peu de souvenirs mais je dois m'arrêter là...
Il est 3h21 et Gabi es muy caca in the head, maybe gabi go sleepas.
Mucho desolas porque soyas not mucho spanishas
Closas your yeuas porque soy brular los iris of the eyes

Bon d'accord j'arrête
Bonne nuit mon cœur je t'aime

Pif paf
J'écoute anchor
And i'm going on discord server to think of you to sleep easier if you know what I mean