Life Goes On (Harry Styles Fanfic)

Chapter 1

It's been exactly one year and six months since the Tragedy. It's not like I have been counting the number of days that have passed, but I just think about what happened every day and how it changed my life. Before the Tragedy, I was the happiest girl in the world. I didn't have much, but I had all I needed. I had a loving family, amazing friends and Mathew.

I've known Mathew for quite a while because his father started working with my father two years ago and we have all been very close ever since. He came from a well respected family but we never expressed our feelings, even though we both felt something for each other. Everything was perfect until I ran into two guys one night while walking home from an art class. I remember the stench of alcohol on the breath of the drunken men as they cornered me in a dark alley. I remember the feeling of their knuckles as they pounded me with their fists. I remember the blood trickling down my thighs and how my lungs burned after screaming for what seemed like forever. I couldn't escape. I laid there, completely helpless, while they raped me. The only thing I could think about was how I wished I would die so it could end. I woke up in a hospital the next morning with a black eye, bruises and cuts all over my body. I don't remember how I got there but I heard my mother talking to a lady who said that she found me laying unconscious in a puddle of my own blood. I needed someone to help me through everything but instead I was tossed aside. Mathew came to the hospital after he heard what happened to me and told me the exact opposite of what I wanted to hear. Instead of comforting me, he said that he didn't want to be with me anymore and that it was all my fault. He said that he couldn't even look at how disgusting and filthy I was and that he couldn't stand being with me. That was the last time I heard from him. I felt even more broken than I already was. He was the only person I have ever loved. We never kissed or did anything most people did but I thought he loved me like i loved him. I was wrong.

As if this wasn't bad enough, one month later, my dad died in a car accident because he was intoxicated. After what happened to me, he drank more than ever because it was all too much for him. He never looked at me the same way again. I could tell he was hurt and devastated but I never would have thought I'd see my father drink his life away every single night. Before I knew it, we got a phone call telling us that he had gotten into a car crash. He died that same night and so did I.

My dad and I had a very special relationship unlike any else. He understood me and I understood him. Don't get me wrong, my mom is everything to me but the connection I had with my father was stronger than any other. Often times, I think about his death more than what happened to me. There was nothing I could do and that's what hurts the most, knowing that no matter what I did, I couldn't stop it from happening. It was out of my control. All of it. So now Its just my mom and I living in a small home in Glendale.

After all my injuries healed, my mom encouraged me to finish my last year of high school. I thought it would be a good idea to finish senior year, but I didn't realize how traumatized I'd be after what happened. Every time a guy came within 5 feet of me, I would flip out and have an extreme panic attack. No one knew what happened to me, including my closest friends. I kept it a secret because I knew that all the memories that I have been trying to forget about would come flooding back once I started talking about it. I remember coming home from school crying one day because I was paired up with a guy during dance class. I didn't know what to do or how to react. The only thing that popped up in my mind was the night of when it happened. I stopped attending high school because I had a fear of men. I couldn't get over it. I started doing school online and realized that this was the best option I had.

And that was pretty much my life but I was fine with it. I usually spent my time drawing and painting. I never went out much but that was definitely okay with me. Im absolutely fine with being alone. Im safer here at home.

This is how it was for me for a year or so until I finally turned 18 and my mom wasn't having it
anymore. She thinks it would be a good idea to go to school and have a life of my own. NAU has offered me a scholarship because of my artistic abilities but I would much rather stay home. Although NAU is still here in Arizona, I don't want to be away from my mother. The only reason I am actually considering going to this University is because I feel bad for her. She always worries and spends all of her time and energy on me and I don't want to be a burden on her anymore. I think It might be a good idea to start fresh. I know it would be impossible to forget but I spent the last year in the dark and I'm ready to try to move on. I know this would be good for me. I think.