There's a void Oikawa Tooru needs to fill. It is slowly consuming him, slowly taking away his humanity, until he will be nothing but skin and dust no more. He tries to fill this black hole with girls, drugs, and sex, but nothing seems to work. It ju...
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𝚒 𝚠 𝚊 𝚒 𝚣 𝚞 𝚖 𝚒
is disappointed. Not in Oikawa, per say, but in himself. He should have been more careful. He should have hidden it a little longer. He should have held back. But, he couldn't. Not with Oikawa looking like that in the periwinkle moonlight and his eyes round and smiling. His lips were so soft, Iwaizumi remembers. His face reddens and he shoves himself into a pillow from Makki's bed, where he had stayed the night. Oh, that's right. He had also moved out of their dorm so he wouldn't have to face Oikawa. He hoped he hadn't done anything too rash. It did seem that Oikawa enjoyed the kiss they shared as well. But that was probably the small nickel of hope in Iwaizumi's chest acting up. Oikawa pushed away, after all, so he couldn't want Iwa...
smol flashback here
Explaining the events furthermore after Oikawa ran back to campus, Iwaizumi had cried in that little spot where their lips had met. Red-eyed and sniffling he made his way back to campus where the rest of their group was waiting. "Iwaizumi! What the fuck?! Oikawa came running through here sobbing ten minutes ago! What happened between you guys?!" Kuroo asks, distressed.
"A lot of things," Iwaizumi replies hoarsely. "Hey, Makki, can I crash at your place tonight?" The group is shocked by the sudden outbursts of the two.
"No, you don't get to crash at my place without explaining what in hell happened?!" Makki folds his arms over his chest.
"Fine, fine, I'll tell you, but only you." Iwaizumi ignores all the stares following him as he makes his way up the building. Makki jogs to catch him.
"Hajime! What the fuck was that?! Could you explain what happened?" Makki places a hand on Iwai's shoulder.
"...You know how I... Feel towards him, right?" Iwaizumi mutters as they both walk up the stairs.
"Oh... Iwaizumi, what did you do?" Makki's eyebrows furrow in realization.
"I- I kissed him," Iwa chokes out. "I d-didn't mean to, and he k-kissed back, but he has some issues. I j-just triggered that and-" Iwaizumi can't talk anymore. Tears cloud his vision once more and his throat clogs. Makki doesn't say anything, but instead just pats Iwaizumi's shoulder.
"Alright, it's okay. You can stay with me for the time being," he comforts. Iwa sniffles and looks away.
"I'm just gonna text him..." Iwa pulls out his phone and taps on Oikawa's contact name. He types out a message:
No, that isn't any good. Iwaizumi retypes the paragraph over and over until he gets it just right. He then sends the text and shoves his phone in his pocket. By the time he finishes, he and Makki have reached the dorm. "You get yourself freshened up, okay? I'll get some extra blankets." Makki offers Iwa a smile and rushes off as soon as they enter the apartment. Iwa nods absentmidedly and drags himself to the bathroom. He washes his face and cools the redness from his eyes.
smol flashback end
Iwaizumi pulls himself off from Makki's extra bed and stumbles into the bathroom. He fumbles with a toothbrush Makki had gotten for him (he really was a savior) and brushes his teeth quickly. Today is Sunday, so he isn't planning on going outside. He should probably get back to his own dorm by now, but he is a bit worried what would happen if he did. He decides to go, anyway, and writes Makki a scribbled note before slipping his shoes on and leaving. Iwaizumi walks down the corridors to his own dorm hesitantly. What if Oikawa doesn't want him there? What if everything gets even more awkward? Iwa gulps buts continues on. If Oikawa doesn't want him there, he'll at least just take his things and go. Iwaizumi stops at his dorm door and fishes out his key from his back pocket. He has to do this. He knocks gently on the door and freezes as a tired Oikawa opens the door a crack.
"...Oh," is all Oikawa says. His eyes are bloodshot from crying and his chestnut hair is disheveled. Iwaizumi swallows.
"Uhm. Can we... talk?" he asks gently, straightening his back. Oikawa thinks for a second, but his mouth settles into a firm line.
"No." The two of them stand quite awkwardly after that, Iwa in the hallway and Oikawa holding the door ever so slightly open. "You can take your stuff and go."
"Oh. Okay. Uh, can I come in?" Iwa mumbles.
"No need." Oikawa disappears for a moment and returns with a duffel bag, which he shoves into Iwa's arms. "Take this and leave, please." Iwaizumi is standing in shocked silence, surprised Oikawa would be so persistent. Oikawa shuts the door and Iwaizumi hears the lock click. He sighs and drags himself back to Makki's room once more.
"Did he kick you out?" Makki asks as Iwa stumbles back into his dorm.
"Yep," Iwaizumi replies, his voice tight. Makki takes the hint and doesn't ask anything more. Iwaizumi, on the other hand, is about to explode. He was so sure he could fix this. So sure. But in the end, he had fucked everything up, as usual.
would he ever get his best friend back?
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a/n yeet an early chapter woohoo. sorry it's a little short, there really wasn't anything i could write about. also, the next chapter will be very depressing. and the next.
