IF ONLY---I COULD FORGIVE MYSELF

Chapter 2

To live in her neighborhood and be so vulnerable to all the neighbors and their prying eyes, was a lot for a young woman to handle. There were accusations and gossip when her neighbors saw anything outside of the traditional ways. Reputations and values could be ruined in an instant, and completely without merit.

Sanem's parents held their traditions and pride at the highest regard. It was a way of life and it was always what was expected of them. Sanem had already been a victim of the gossip and did not want more of the same. She shuddered at the thought of bringing more disgrace upon her family. She knew she had to release herself from the guilt of the lies and deception that engulfed her heart. She knew it wasn't going to be easy.

Her parents could see that Sanem was visibly shaken and distraught when she arrived home. Her mother Mevkibe,  was hovering over her and demanding to know what was wrong. Sanem had to hold it together for a few more minutes to satisfy all of her family's questions. After a few moments, her Dad came to her rescue and told Mevkibe to let her rest and she would tell them what was wrong when she was ready. Very reluctantly she allowed Sanem to go to her room.

The pain and deep agony of what happened that afternoon and the fact of the lies told; it was impossible for her to release all the tears trapped inside for so long. They were frozen and locked up so deep they may never be released. His words still echoed through her mind as she remembered the hurt that was in his eyes. If only he would have listened to her, tried to understand....

The night was long and unrestful. Her mind wouldn't turn off, and there was a constant re-run of the previous day's events. What was she going to do, there had to be something, she thought. But it was no use; her mind was numb. She needed to talk to her sister, maybe she would be able to help.

Leyla was fully aware of all the problems that weighed on her sister. They always tried to tackle all the problems that surrounded Sanem and Cans relationship together, and she knew the toll it was taking on her. Although she knew the reasons that Sanem had been forced to give away her perfume to Fabri, all the best intentions sometimes were not enough. It was like Sanem was in quicksand and Leyla wasn't able to rescue her.

Sanem and Leyla met in the park on the coast. It was not going to be an easy meeting. After sharing the dreadful details of what happened the day before,  she was visibly shaken and upset. Leyla informed her that Can had relayed quite a different story to her and Emre the night before. Can had told them the meeting with Sanem had been a good one. They had agreed to remain as friends and they would use this time to think and rebuild their lives. Leyla had wondered at the time how her sister was going to pull of the facade of being his friend and still be able to keep her sanity. Sanem confided in Leila, asking her to do something that would prove to be a challenge for her.  She needed her to keep what she was about to tell her a secret from her parents and from Emre as well. She knew it wouldn't be easy but it seemed to be the only way out for Sanem.  

Leila listened without saying a word, knowing how hard this would be for her sister she agreed to help her.....