I am dedicating this chapter to mahawesumusername. I like your name lol and thanks for the comment it means allot. :) Ill keep dedicating each chapter to you lovely guy/ladies.
--------------------------------
I am so sorry its taking me so long to update this story. But here it is i hope you love it. I loved writing it. Enjoy :)
--------------------------------
(ZAYN POV)
I was just staring at him i couldn't fully understand. Just yesterday he said it wasn't time and now in front of my therapist he kisses me and said he doesn't want to wait anymore. He wants me! He kissed me! He wants me to be his.? I know this is what i wanted, i want him. i need him, i love him but i was almost sure that the only reason he is around because he felt obligated to help me. Sure he told me how he felt, How he wanted to help me.Never once did he say he wanted to be with me.So here i am staring into his big blue eyes full of concern holding onto his hands like my life depended on it. Why couldn't i speak? Why did my heart start to pound? Why did my brain shut off? I just need to say yes its only one word.
"Zayn? Please say something. Are you okay? Answer me.!" I could hear the panic in his voice so I looked back up into his eyes. I felt mine water. Come on zayn push past this feeling.! Just say yes. I opened my mouth nothing came out. My head start to spin. i closed my eyes wishing it would leave. I started to stand up i felt shaky. A new pair of hands found me. I knew it was my therapist nobody else was in the room.
"Zayn Listen to me, Listen to my voice if you can hear me nodded you head."I nodded my head a little trying to keep my breathing straight. "Okay firstly stop holding your breathing, Just let it go. Okay good open your eyes."I tried but it hurt.
"I-I cant."
"Zayn listen to me sweetie, You gotta fight through this. Do you understand whats happening?"
"N-no."
"Keep breathing, the reason everything hurts right now is because somewhere in the back of your mind you know whats happening. Your fighting it so that James or Micheal cant get through. So open your eyes look at me and breathe."I tried my hardest i couldn't, i really couldn't.Then i heard whispering well not whispering more like i was thinking something only it want me doing the thinking. I new the voice it was my own and it was full of rage. I never experience this before i didn't understand but he kept whispering.
He not good for you..Let me out so i can protect you..Listen to me!...I'm going to kill him zayn its for the best...Hes going to hurt you break you into a million pieces he needs to die he needs to go away...FUCKING LISTEN TO ME.! NIALL HAS TO DIE HE HAS TO GO FOR YOU TO BE OKAY LET ME OUT AND ILL HANDLE HIM...
"Z-zayn? Please open your eyes and look at me? Ill help you zayn i promise.you just gotta open your eyes baby. " That was Niall's voice, the whispering disappeared i couldn't believe him Niall was good i had to be okay so Niall didn't get hurt i need to protect him from me. Come on zayn Niall wants you to look at him,! Open your fucking eyes. It took me a minute but i finally got them open just to be met with bright blue eyes that were full of somehow confidence and fear at one time. As soon as he seen my eyes were open a smile came across his face. I wanted to believe it was Niall who helped and it most likely was but something told me that if it was just me and him in this room everything might have been different.
