I wasn't enough.

Chapter 9

Lucy's POV

I recieve a text from David saying I won't be able to see him and it shatters my heart, I really miss him.

We only saw eachother once which was yesterday and now he has to work late again, I wish we had more time together.

When this baby is born, I hope he cuts back on his hours at work because I'll need him and so will our child.

Great.

Now I wanna break down and cry...

I don't know if it's because my hormones are all over the place or if it's because of how broken I am to not be seeing my husband.

As I sit on the couch, I think about motherhood.

Sadness washes over me and at this moment all I can think is 'will I be a single mom?'

Realistically I won't be a single mom but judging on the hours David works... I'll be raising this child on my own.

Small tears to make their way out of my eyes.

I shake the thoughts out of my head and wipe my tears away in order to think straight.

Lucy don't be stupid! Of course you won't be a single mother! David will always be here for you and your baby

I force myself to think, because to be honest in my heart I know that David will always be here for me.

He will never leave me or forsake me.

He is my one and only and I am his. He's my sky and I'm his sun, he will forever be my one true love.

Just thinking like this make my eyes turn into fountains.

Even though I know it's true, I just can't push the thought of possibly raising this child on my own.

No matter how hard I try, the tears won't stop flowing.

It's like all the feelings I have bottled up inside me, just burst the cap off of it and I can't find the lid to close it shut.

***

After about an hour of on and off crying, I finally calm down.

Getting up off of the couch I walk to the bathroom and take a look at my reflection in the mirror.

I look like an infected person. Due to my red bloodshot eyes and the red puffiness around my eyes.

I also looked borderline zombie, because of the dark circles around my eyes.

As I look at my nose I noticed there's no snot on my face, what a releif.

I did notice that I have a red abrasion on and around my nose.

Just seeing that make my nose burn.

I grab a wash cloth and run it under warm water and wipe my forehead, cheeks and chin.

I place it under the warm water again and lightly dab around my eyes.

Once more, I place the wash cloth under cold water this time and dab it on and around my nose. Making sure not to press to harshly.

After all that, I walk over to the cabinet and look for some source of ointment to put on my nose.

Finally, I find one and softly rubbed it on the places that hurt, making sure to get every spot.

I look in the mirror once more and laugh my head off.

I currently have a white mostache and a huge white dot on my nose. I know it's not very funny but my emotions are everywhere at this point.