Unsolved Pain

Chapter 15

"Why are you here?" "I will always be here even if you think I'm not. Trixie we were meant to be together." I looked around and was trying to find the sound of him or was it my mother. "Are you male or female?" I asked the voice. "Just know you're doing the right thing Sky." No one used my middle name but my mother. "Are you my mother if so please tell me what I'm doing wrong." "You're not waking up." I was confused. "Baby wake up." I opened my eyes and Kayden looked scared half to death. "Are you okay?

You wouldn't wake up, I was scared." "I'm fine I had a dream which felt so real. I was communicating with my mother, I think?" I started to laugh a little. I had gotten dressed, I wore sweats with a shirt and my black converse. I had a make up day. First thing was my outer appearance. My hair and wardrobe last. This is so complicated to live this lifestyle. Me, Blue, and Kayden gotten in the car drove my to stylist. I stepped out the car and went to sign in. "Welcome and sign in if you don't have an appointment." "I have an appointment with Janice." "Okay well I can at least wash and shampoo your hair while you wait.

That it won't be so long of a wait." "Okay that's fine." "My name is Rickie, I'll be helping you for the most part." I sat down in her chair and she washed my hair so gently. Her fingers felt like magic. She had washed my hair twice and condition it. By the time she rinsed the conditioner out and blow dried my hair, Janice was here. She didn't talk much except if it was something wrong with business. All she said was "It will all be over soon." Closed my eyes and hoped for the best. I placed my ear plugs in my ear. She turned my chair around to face the mirror. She's good at this, I looked stunningly beautiful. She cut my hair over one eye like the emo looked.

She dyed my hair a deep red for the main color with brown highlights. It looked weird but it also didn't look like me. She dyed my eyebrows red. I called Kayden and told him I was ready for my next  appointment. Blue must have gave him the keys because I don't see him in sight. My next appointment was a couple tattoos. One was on my neck and one on my thigh. All I kept saying was "Ouch, this hurts." Or I was saying "Can we take a break?" Apparently he was trying to finish so he could serve his other customers. It was a  beautiful tattoo though but hurt and took to long. I had a tattoo down my back that spelled out my name in Egyptian. When he was finished he gave me oil to use and some other stuff.

Kayden came to the room I was in and looked. "Nice tattoo, I choose wisely. You ready to go bay?" I nodded my head he paid the guy and he took me home. "You look different, that's what we wanted. I love you bay. Can you tell me what happen in your life from youngest to oldest?" I looked at him and took a deep breathe. "Can we go somewhere, and I'll tell you." He started the car and we went to river. "Okay, now start talking." I turned to him. "When I was three years old my mom was already diagnosed with stage four Ovarian cancer . Her and my dad was married for 33 years. Everything was beautiful I didn't have no worry. Then she died two years after my birthday. So after my 5th birthday. Then everything went down hill. Michael started becoming an alcoholic. It started as abuse. So it lasted until my school had me removed then I went back with him. Then everything went to normal he treated me better. No abuse till my 7th birthday. Then not only abuse but rape. Then it's been happening continuously until I moved in with you. Then I met you, Kayden. Then my whole life changed." He looked at me like I did something. He came closer to me and kissed me on the lips, so passionately. Then I had gotten a pain in my stomach. I held it and rubbed. I started whimpering and moaning. He pulled back. "Are you okay Trixie?" I shook my head. He drove me to the hospital. He brought me in and the nurses took me to the back to see what was wrong. "Honey can you tell us where you're having pain at?"

"On my lower abdomen it hurts so bad!" The nurses told me to stay still but how could I if I'm in so much pain? "Honey take deep breaths it should help the pain. Stay still we are going to put an iv in your arm and we are going to give you medicine for the pain." I tried to relax my body. After twenty minutes of trying to get me to relax they stuck a needle in my vain and started to give me medicine. The pain finally left. They finally let Kayden in the room. He came over to my side. "You alright? I mean you was fine till I kissed you. Have you been taking it easy?" "Yes, I've been eating the right stuff, they are going to bring me my results then maybe we can leave. Okay?" "Alright i'm going to take a nap."

I laid his head into my lap and held his hand. I turn on the TV and laid back. I was watching The Parkers, man I miss this show. I hear a knock on the door. "Come in." An older  gentlemen came in and looked at me. "Hi Mrs. Nelson, how are you?" "Im fine and you?" "Im pretty good, we found something in you. It won't harm the baby at all but if you can wait 4 more months then we can get it." "What is it?" "It's a tumor on your pancreas. It's nothing too serious but we have to get it removed asap." I laid in the bed and was truly hurt. It's always something wrong for me.

God I hope you have a plan for me can't keep going through stuff to have more negative stuff come into my life. "Okay I'll wait me and my boyfriend will get ready. So is it going to happen the day of labor?" "Unfortunately, Trixie, you'll be in a healing process, it wouldn't matter. We'll make sure that you don't scar or anything if you do, I'll personally pay for you to have it removed." "Sounds like a deal, but under one condition, my boyfriend has to be in here." "I don't see why he couldn't be. You've been so strong Trixie. Im proud of you. Your young and seems like a lot going on. I'll make the nurse comes to check your vital signs if they're good you can go home." I nodded my head and sat up. I woke up Kayden told him what's going on, he held me till the results came back. They were good so I we left and went home.

I went up to my room and laid in bed. Kayden went to get something for me to eat. I went to shower and just laid there to think. It was so serene, just the way I looked it. I used Kayden's headphones played soft tunes and closed my eyes.  Warm water my belly sitting on top of the water I place my hands right on it. I can't wait to hold this bundle of joy.I felt something warm touch me. I quickly sat up and looked and it was Kayden. I've been having visions of Micheal touching me and it's almost like i can still feel him touch me. I relaxed and looked at him with relief. He washed me up, dried me off and fed me. I was so sleepy. I told him I was sleepy he kissed me on the forehead, turned off the lights and tucked me in. I went to sleep.