Kiss Me?

Chapter 40

"Have you found herself drawing him since the accident?" Therapy was going slow today for Tessa. She was more confused then ever, now that she started going through things like her phone contacts and her sketch book. Her sketch book seemed to be the therapist' interested at the moment.

Tessa bite her lip, frustrated. "The other day I was talking to Lauren while doodling and I started drawing eyes, then hair. By the time I noticed what I was doing I had drawn his facial features."

The lady seemed to be writing things down, listening to Tessa closely while doing so. The lady's grayish blue eyes looked back up to Tessa as her lips purse together, thinking. "Have you drawn any of your other friends?"

Tessa started nibbling on her skin on the inside of her lip, pealing it off little by little. Her gaze diverted to the front of the lady's desks as her fingers twisted the skin on the fingers of her other hand. "No, that's what I don't understand. Well, part-some of the things I don't understand."

"And you're positive he and you were always just friends?" The lady asks, skeptically.

Tessa nods, in her mind her and Niall were never romantically attracted to each other. She had no clue that she once loved him. She had no clue that he still loved her. She had no clue he was thinking about her this very moment as he waited out in the waiting room for her. She was frustrated and confused.

"What was the last thing you thought about last night before you fell asleep?" The lady asks, looking over her reading glasses as she watched Tessa's body language.

Tessa felt like she was being interrogated, a lab rat. She felt like the lady was amazed and amused at her memory, or lack of. Tessa hated going to therapy, it made her more frustrated and confused then on the days she didn't go.

"My mom." Tessa announced, not making eye contact due to the fact the moister in her eyes was ready to overlap her eyelids.

"What about your mother?" Tessa ignored the way the lady said mother instead of mom. It annoyed Tessa because 'mother' seemed like a sneer. A sneer that Tessa used to mutter when her mom punished her when she was young. When ever she was on edge she would call her mother 'mother' instead of 'mum'.

"Before she got sick my mom and I were really close. Then, when she became to sick to really pay attention to me, my dad and I became like best friends." Her memory wouldn't allow her to remember her parents deaths. She thought it to be a bad thing but later, she finds out it was actually protecting her from remembering the horrid nights of heart ache and nightmares.

"And then what?" The lady asks, knowing well enough that Tessa didn't know what happened after that.

"I don't remember." Tessa whispers, unable, and un-wanting to think about it any longer.

"Okay, I think that's enough for today." The lady notices Tessa mood change from frustrated to angry at herself for not remembering. Frustrated was okay, but when it got to the point that she was mad at herself, that was bad. "I assume there's someone waiting for you...?"

Tessa nods, standing to her feet and slinging the strap of her bag over her shoulders. She shuffles to the half opened door of the office before hearing the voice of the lady at the desk.

"I'll see you next Thursday, Tessa." Tessa didn't respond, just walked out the door into the waiting room.

As soon as she saw Niall the brightness of his smile caused her irritation at herself to ease a little. "Ready?" He asks as he stands to his feet. Tessa nods as they start walking to the front of the maze like building. Niall's arm, without thought, goes to Tessa's shoulders, not quite touching  her as they walk.