Finding You ❀ h.s.

Chapter 8

I repeated his words in my head.

The words about how Liam could love me more than ever ever could.

How Liam could never make the mistakes he could.

I sighed at the thoughts. I sighed at my miserable self, I sighed at Harry, I sighed at everything.

You have a man through those doors who loves you with all his heart - probably more than I loved you. He won't give you up, and he won't make the mistakes I made.

I killed me to know that his true words broke my heart. Liam does love me with all his damn heart, he's been to the ends of the earth and told me in every way to prove it.

And it killed me even more to know that I could never return it. I love Liam with all I have but...this love can't compare to what I once felt with Harry.

And what even killed me more, if it's even possible, because I have already 'killed' myself 3 times, is that I'm laying in innocent Liam's arms thinking about a love I once had. And now that love in non-existent.

Spat on. Burned. It's ashes were sprinkled into the Arctic Ocean. They sunk to the bottom.

A treasure without a map. The jewel, hidden, and will never be found.

-

I walked slowly on the sidewalk with the hood of my hoodie over my head. My eyes scanned my phone, not looking up in fear that someone might notice me.

Some chattering was heard so i glanced up.

I let out a breath, some what chuckling at what I saw.

The club that Mollie, Ollie and I went to. It's also where I made out with Niall. Ahh, the memories.

I shook my head while laughing before turning into a small coffee shop. I ordered a cuppa tea that...I'll admit - I've missed it more than I've missed my mother.

I sat in the corner booth while scrolling on my phone and picking at my danish. It was my day off, so I figured i could get some 'fresh' air and have a stress-free day.

I liked a photo of a pug on Instagram as I heard footsteps heading in my direction. I tilted my head more to the side, hoping whoever was coming over would think I was someone else.

"Monica, I know it's you, so cut the shit."

I recognised Mollie's instantly, turning slightly to look at her.

She swallowed, holding a cup of something while looking me over, a bit of sorrow in her eyes.

"May I sit?"

I cleared my throat. "Of course."

I felt my heart break at the fact that she asked to sit. Back then we would have done anything without asking.

I can't believe I made our friendship this bad.

She slid into the seat across from me, setting her bag to her right.

Both of her hands cupped her drink. I glanced down, and thats when I saw the diamond.

"Oh my god..." My hand covered my mouth. She gave me a weird look, waiting for me to explain.

"Y-You got married?" Tears came to my eyes instantly.

"What?" She glanced down at her ring. "Oh, no! Just engaged." She shrugged.

"You got engaged?" My jaw dropped, my eyes continued to gather the tears.

She nodded and chuckled a little at my reaction.

"To who?" I asked, still stunned.

She twisted the ring around her finger. "Niall, actually."

Although I was extremely happy for her, I couldn't help but feel jealousy.

Why couldn't Harry and I have a happy ending?

"Oh my god...Congratulations!" I laid my hand on her, we both slightly flinched at the foreign action.

"Thank you..." She trailed off, her eyes wandering away from my hand touching hers.

I cleared my throat and took a sip of my tea. I coughed as it burnt my throat, but continued to drink it because it tasted amazing.

"So..." Mollie began, "how have you been?"

I shrugged. "Well, you could say. My job has been somewhat hell but I truly love it." I smiled. "How about you? How's Niall?"

She warmly smiled. Her eyes have gotten a tad darker from the last time I saw her. Her lips were fuller and cheek bones more full. She's barely changed, she's only grown up and matured.

"We've been great, actually. We can pay the bills and life is good."

I nodded as I listened. I'm happy that she's happy. She deserves it.

She swallowed. "We've all missed you, Mon."

My smile fell. "I'm sorry-"

"How could you just leave us like that?" She calmly spoke, which made me feel a little better.

I didn't speak, I just kept looking down.

"How could you leave...me? You were my best friend, Mon. You left me without even telling me."

"I...England had nothing for me, Mollie. I wasn't smart like you...I wasn't outgoing or creative. I wasn't going anywhere. The only thing I had for me were good legs and a nice face." I said, my head leaning on my hand.

She sighed, then looked up at me. "So you left?" She shook her head, not impressed.

"You left your friends behind. Your family. People who cared for you." Her lip shook. "Remember when we said that after we graduated we would move to London together? We made that promise when we were 8."

I looked down into my tea. God, this was heart breaking.

"And, remember when we said we want to always be there for each other? Through the bad times and the good times? Through sad and happy tears?" She continued.

I looked up, a single tear floats down my cheek.

Mollie frowns, tears rolled down hers as well.

"Well, where were you."

-

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

AND HAPPY HANUKKAH !! IS IT EVEN STILL HANUKKAH??? IDK

harry and monica's ship name is honica (for me) and it sounds like hanukkah sO

But

SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT

I RLLY WANTED TO UPDATE AS MY GIFT TO YOU SINCE I CANT MEET YOU ALL AND GIVE YOU GIFTS ))):

BUT I HOPE YOU HAVE A VERY MERRY CHANUKKAH FILLED WITH LOVE

I HOPE YOURE SURROUNDED WITH PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU THE MOST 💖💖💖

I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH

I'm so thankful for all of you honestly 😭😭

(Pls pray that i get a new macbook so i can update more often!!!!!)

-poppy xx

(oH AND HAPPY EARLY BOXER DAY)