Torment ((Bucky Romance))

Chapter 22 Day Dream

I stood there as Bucky watched me. I shake my head head coming out of the trance as I looked at him thinking about what to say.
  
     "What's wrong Amber?"  He asked for what's I'm sure was the second time.

      I bit my lip anxiously.

    "Hydra cut out my uterus. I umm I can't have kids" I say and I looked down.

     I feel the air go tense and I looked at him as his eyes burned into me.
  
       "Why didn't you tell me before! When did you know?" He said gritting his teeth.

I didn't expect that to happen. I thought he was gonna be calm. Well calmer then that.

        "I don't know like when we went to the mall. I don't know why I didn't tell you Bucky I'm sorry."  I say slightly pleadingly.

     "You should have told me when you first found out! " He said I feel the anger starting to rise up in him slowly.

      " I know I'm so-" he cuts me off
  
      "Sorry won't do anything now. " He turns away from me

     "Bucky please. I didn't know how to tell you" I say putting a hand on his shoulder gently.

    He moves his shoulder so my hand falls off.  I looked at the ground feeling terrible.

     "I wanted to have a family with you." His voice came out quietly.

  "What?.." I looked at him.

   He turned to face me and his face was unreadable.

   "I wanted to have a family with you. To have kids and grow old with you. Live a normal life." He says gritting his teeth again.

     I was taken aback by his words. He wanted to have a family with me and grow old. I feel a pricing feeling in the back of my eyes and I knew tears we're starting to form.

      "But now that will never happen." He say anger ridding through his voice.

    "I-- Buck we can still grow old together. We can adopt have a family" I say looking into his eyes as he looked over me.

   "No. Not know. Not if you keep secrets from me! I wanted to ha e kids not to adopt them." He says glaring into my eyes as he takes a step towards me.

       "I'm sorry" I say my voice coming out cracked and soft. I didn't know my voice could do that. I feel water running down my face and I knew I was crying. I just continued to look into his eyes.

   "No sorry won't do anything. I'm leaving and I'll find somewhere else to stay. " He says as he grabs his jacket and walks into the other room .

I sprinted at him and I wiped the tears away quickly. I grabbed his arm gently and he yanked it away from me.

    "Buck please we can talk about this. Just please don't leave" I say as another wave of tears left my eyes and my voice cracked.

     "No " was all he said as he started to pack his things away. I watched him silently.

     After a while he finished packing. He walked to the door.

  "Please please think about this. Think about us.." I say as I followed him to the door.

     He whipped around quickly catching me off guard and he pushes my against the wall .

     "There is no us Amber." He says looking over me. After a while I just sank to the ground and he walked out the door slamming it behind him.

       "Amber whats wrong?" Bucky says as he waved his normal arm in front of my face. "You okay you look like you zoned out."

     I shake my head quickly and I looked at him and I let out a sigh of relief knowing it was fake.

    "What do you want to tell me ?"

     I shake my head.

     "I just wanted to tell you that we might have to get a new license plate for the car and motorcycle. I'm pretty sure they can trace those." I say running a hand through my notted up hair.

     He nods "I didn't even think about that. Thanks I'll get right on that" he say with a small smile.

    He walked out the the room to go see what he can do with the license plates.
  
      I sank to the ground after I hear the door close and I put my face in my hands. What was this rush of feelings. I didn't know what to do with them. My brain felt like it was going to explode. I was feeling happiness, guilt, I think Love, and failure.

       After a while I got myself together I stood up and I cleaned up everything and I went to my bedroom and I layed know the bed. I stared at the ceiling as I hear the door open and close.

     Bucky comes in looking at me.

    "I changed the license plates. Yes illegally but it will help us. " He says leaning on the door frame.

     I sit up looking at him.

    "That's okay Buck. We have to do what we need to do" I say giving him a small smile.

      "We need to find you somewhere to sleep because I don't want you to sleep on that uncomfortable couch." I say standing up.

He nodded just watching me as I think. My face turned a light shade of pink when I think of something. I don't know why my face did if but that's what happened.

    "You can sleep in the same bed with me if you don't mind." I say to him

He looked into my eyes "I couldn't possibly intrude. It's yours" he say

  "I know but you need something comfortable and don't argue it's already done." I smiled at him.

    I checked the clock and it was already starting to get late.

"Go get ready for bed Buck I'll meet you here when your done" I didn't want to rush him and I grabbed my clothes to change into and I smiled at the thought of Bucky in the same bed and my cheeks darkened. I felt butterflies in my stomach also.