Heart Breaker

Chapter 18

"We're goin' back and turn ourselves in." Johnny said.

Dal turned to Johnny and demanded, "What?"

"I said we're goin' back and turn ourselves in," Johnny repeated in a quiet voice. I was surprised but not shocked. "I ain't got no record with the fuzz and it was self-defense. Ponyboy and Cherry can testify to that. And I don't aim to stay in that church all my life."That was quite a speech for Johnny, but he went on, " We won't tell that you guys helped us, Dally, and we'll give you back the gun and what's left of the money and say we hitchhiked back so you won't get into trouble. Okay?"

Dally was chewing the corner of his ID card, "You sure you want to go back? Us greasers get it worse than anyone else."

Johnny nodded. "I'm sure. It ain't fair for Ponyboy to have to stay up in that church with Darry and Soda worryin' about him all the time. I don't guess . . ."---- he swallowed and tried not to look eager--- "I don't guess my parents are worried about me or anything?"

"The boys are worried," Dally said in a matter-of-fact voice. "Two-Bit was going to Texas to hunt for you."

"My parents," Johnny repeated doggedly. "did they ask about me?"

"No," snapped Dally. "they didn't. Blast it. Johnny, what do they matter? Shoot, my old man don't give a hang whether I'm in jail or dead in a car wreck or drunk in the gutter. That don't bother me none."

Johnny didn't say anything. But he stare down with such hurt bewilderment.

Dally cussed under his breathe and nearly tore out the transmission of the T-bird as we roared out of the Dairy Queen. I felt sorry for Dally. He meant it when he said he didn't care about his parents. But he and the rest of the gang knew Johnny and I cared and did everything they could to make it up to him. I don't know what it was about Johnny--- maybe that lost puppy look and those big scared eyes were what made eveyone his big brother. But they couldn't, no matter how hard they tried, take the place of his parents. I thought about it for a minute--- Darry, Sodapop, and Ponyboy were the closest things I had to family and I loved them, but Darry could never replace my parents. No wonder Johnny was hurt because his parents didn't want him. Dally could take it--- Dally was the breed that could take anything, because he was hard and tough, and when he wasn't, he could turn hard and tough, but he had soft spots for Johnny and me. Johnny was a good fighter and could play it cool, but he was sensitive and that isn't a good way to be when you're a greaser.

"Blast it,Johnny," Dally growled as we flew along the red road, "why didn't you think of turning yourself in five days ago? It would have saved y/n and I a lot of trouble."

"I was scared," Johnny said with conviction. "I still am." He ran his finger down one of his short black sideburns. "I guess we ruined our hair for nothing, Ponyboy."

"I guess so." Ponyboy said.

Dally was scowling, and from long and painful experience I knew better than to talk to him when his eyes were blazing like that. I grabbed his free hand that wasn't on the steering well and rubbed my thumb across his hand.

Johnny just sat there and stared at his feet. He hated for any one us to be mad at him. He looked awful sad. Dally glanced at him out of the corner of his eye. I looked out the window.

"Johnny," Dally said in a a pleading, high voice," Johnny, I ain't mad at yo. I just don't want you to get hurt. You don't know what a few months in jail can do to you. Oh, blast it, Johnny"---he pushed his hair back out of his eyes--- "you get hardened in jail. I don't want that to happen to you. Like it happened to me . . ."