Allure

Self Control

Kylo's POV

"I cannot believe you managed to get them!" [Y/N] smiled, taking the books from my hands. She continued to smile as she started skimming through the first of the Senate texts. 

"Thank you! Thank you!" she squealed. She wrapped her arms around me, catching me off guard. It must've caught her off guard too because she quickly released. A scared look appeared on her face in realization of what she'd done.

I began to recall the words I'd overheard the Resistance fighter say, and a feeling of rage washed over me. A lover? Did they think I was capable of love? And now [Y/N] thought it acceptable to embrace me?

Snoke's words echoed throughout my mind, reminding me that love is nothing but a weakness. And it must be destroyed if I am to completely ascend to the dark side. 

I felt one hand wrap around [Y/N]'s throat as the other slammed her against the wall of the stolen transport. Fear entered her eyes as I felt the breath leave her lungs. My hand replaced her throat with her cheeks so that her ear was facing my lips.

"Don't you ever touch me again," I breathed into her ear. "Must I remind you we are not friends. I am your superior and you will respect me as such. Are we clear?" I spat, turning her head so her eyes were directly in line with mine.

"Ye...Yes, sir," her voice barely managed to say as tears began streaming down her face. I knew that I should release her and give her some space to breath. But I couldn't. I was getting high off of the feeling of control. Not just control. Control over her.

Where there once was rage, there was now desire. A desire that rang out louder than any word Snoke had ever conditioned into my brain. Than any lesson he had ever preached. It overwhelmed all of my senses as my eyes left [Y/N]'s to roam her body. 

She seemed to notice and her eyes began doing the same. The demeanor of the situation was quickly replaced with a new one. I no longer felt fear radiating off of [Y/N]. Instead, she matched me in my feelings of desire.

After one last longing look, my body completely cut ties from the self control of my brain. My lips forcefully met hers as one hand cupped her cheek while the other found its place in her hair. Her hands began to find their place on my body.

"Did I say you could touch me?" I growled, using the Force to pin her hands to the wall. I began tugging at her hair as my lips made their way down her neck. I sucked hard, ensuring the existence of a visible marking. I slowly made my way back to her lips. I felt her tongue try to take control, but I quickly tamed it with my overpowering force. I heard her whimper which only heightened my desire.

Deepening the kiss, I allowed my hands to start roaming her body. I began feeling her neck and her collarbone, careful to avoid anywhere that could be potentially too far. Too far. I started to get flashbacks from that night on Tatooine. Her laid out helpless, drugged up. That man taking advantage of her. Guilt flooded throughout my body as I chose to pull back.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that." I released her from her restraints and decided to return to the cockpit, leaving her in the living space of the ship. As I sat down into the pilot's seat, I began plugging in coordinates for Starkiller. I'd been away on this unauthorized mission for too long now, there was still work that needed to be done.

I let out a sigh and attempted to push my thoughts to the back of my brain. I decided to focus on the flight and let it calm me back into somewhat of a normal state. But no matter how hard I tried, she remained the image behind my eyes.