A passion for work

Lost

"I-I'm sorry." Tatum managed to stand up and quickly fled out the door, almost running towards her safe place. It wasn't assigned hers but it's where she used to hide. A small, abandoned office on the thirty fifth floor which was used to store crap people couldn't be bothered to get rid of. She closed the door, stepped over a few files and sat down on the floor, hiding behind a bookshelf. And she finally let the tears out. She was dissapointed in herself, having yet to learn to accept her struggles. She was upset because she was at work. At work, she wanted to be completely proffesional, no one was meant to see her struggles. So how could she let this happen? Her legs were still shaking, she was pulling her hair, messing it up, stressed out of her mind.

She suddenly heard a nock on the door and it opened slowly. Tatum peeked out from behind the bookshelf. It was her. "May I come in?" Miss Darce let out carefully. Tatum was prepared to answer no, but the tone in her voice was so sad and full of empathy, she somehow felt safe with saying "Yes." Miss Darce closed the door behind her and walked up to her, slowly sitting down on the floor, facing her.

Everything about the way she moved was so careful, like she tried her very best not to upset Tatum further. Tatum was sitting with her knees up against her body, her arms lying on top of them hiding her face. Miss Darce looked at her with so much empathy in her eyes. "Can I touch you?" She clearly knew exactly how to deal with someone in this situation. Tatum, for some reason, felt completely safe with her. "Yes." Miss Darce reached out her hand and carefully laid it on her shoulder, bringing her an amazing amount of comfort. Her mere prescence was comforting to Tatum. "I'm so sorry Tatum." She said whilst looking down. "I should've predicted this might happen." There was guilt in her voice.

"You couldn't have known." Miss Darce lowered her eyes even further, looking as ashamed as Tatum felt. "Yes I could've." Tatum wondered what she meant by that. "How did you find me?" She asked. "This is exactly where I would've gone." Tatum couldn't believe her ears. Had her prediction been correct? "Are you...?" "Yes, I'm autistic. And I'm guessing you are, too." Miss Darce finally looked up and smiled at Tatum, who was sitting there with her mouth wide open. "How did...how did you know?" Tatum was genuinely curious. Miss Darce's smile faded. "I should've recognized the signs earlier. When you were getting tired in the meeting, I just thought you slept poorly. I was too focused on the conversation, law is a special interest of mine. When I asked you that stupid question it was already too late. I knew I shouldn't go after you but I couldn't help myself."

"Well I'm glad you did." Tatum's tears had dried and she was feeling calm, distracted from her own emberrasment. She smiled at Miss Darce. "Really?" Her shock was genuine. "Yes. I'm much more at ease now." Miss Darce blushed, making Tatum blush also. "I'm so glad to hear that." Miss Darce said whilst smiling. They sat there and looked in each other's eyes for a little while. "So, we're both autistic. That's pretty cool!" Tatum let out. Miss Darce laughed, beautifully. "I totally agree."

She stood up, reached out her hand and helped Tatum get up. Suddenly they were standing very close. Miss Darce carefully laid her hand on Tatum's cheek. Tatum somehow felt relaxed. She had told this woman something about herself and she had told something back. She felt completely safe with her, and the feeling in the room was nowhere near as tense as when they first met. It had been a good kind of tense, but this, this moment right now, felt just as good. This was intimacy at its finest.

Miss Darce looked her in the eyes. "You're so beautiful." Tatum blushed heavily. "So are you." She just had to say it. Miss Darce carefully kissed her on the forhead, almost romantically. Then she stepped away and elegantly walked out the room. At the door, she swiftly turned around and playfully winked at Tatum before dissapearing. Tatum was left alone, standing in awe of this amazing woman. She stood there for minutes, Miss Darce never leaving her mind.

Then her phone buzzed and she remembered "Shit! Work!" She clumsily hurried out the room, into the elevator and back to her office space where she spent the rest of the day doing boring work that had to be done and daydreaming about her new boss. She didn't see Miss Darce again that day.

Tatum fiddled with her keys, finally managing to unlock her apartment. She stepped inside, locked the door behind her and her daily afternoon/evening ritual begun. She did some reading about old cases, watched the latest episode of her favourite series, listened to Tegan and Sara in the shower (and sang along, loudly) before having dinner together with her phone. She watched an action movie in bed, and fell asleep to the beautiful sound of nothingness.

A ray of sunshine curiously peeked inside through her blinds and Tatum knew the day had to begin. She was ready for today. She knew how to work, she had done it for years. Yet somehow, something felt a little different. That something being her boss was no longer an old man but a beautiful, crazily amazing woman named Miss Darce. Her alarm beeped just as that thought crossed her mind. She knew her relationship with Miss Darce was already off to a bad start, considering she was her boss and well... they didn't exactly stay proffessional. She knew she was in a dangerous situation. But she couldn't help it, she couldn't help but be amazed by her beauty, her confidence, her compassion and her radiant smile. Losing herself in daydreams, she completely forgot about time and space.