A Chance to be Loved

Chapter 15 - Autumn Confession

I had a blast last night during my dinner date with Sebastian. He never failed to surprise me but at the back of my mind, I still had thousands of questions. He came on so strong and somehow, it scares me. I couldn't even comprehend what he was thinking; I couldn't read him like an open book. I wanted to ask him so many times about us, if the word US even exists in his own vocabulary. I wanted to ask him questions like What are we? Why does my heart skip a beat whenever I see him? His actions showed me how sweet, loving and caring he was as a person. It wasn't confusing at all, what's confusing was his intentions. Actions were not enough for me since I'm avoiding ending up with assumptions. He wanted to meet me again later today and I would ask him what was bothering me all this time. I needed to clear my mind from all of this, I needed his explanations. I wanted my peace of mind back. After my shift, I headed out to the playground in front of the coffee shop where the massive maple tree was located. I'm standing under the maple tree while waiting for him when I saw him from a distance. I could hear the children's giggles while Sebastian was playing with them. He lifted the little girl up in the air and that was when he caught sight of me. He smiled like he just saw his favorite human being for the first time. He waved goodbye to the children and walked towards me. The happiness in his face faded away in just a few seconds. I also noticed that he was trembling.

"Are you okay?" I asked, sounding worried. I was about to touch his arm when he moved an inch away from me then I frowned. "Sorry Sam, I don't know what's going on with me. I was really happy when I saw you earlier. It's just that, uhhmm, well..." He said then there was silence.

"What do you mean? Do you need to tell me something? I'll listen to you Seb and then I'll ask you my questions too." His fidgeting was distracting me. "Well, I have been preparing myself for what I'm going to tell you right now. I had sleepless nights just thinking about this. This is something really new to me and I hope you'll understand where I'm coming from." He was still fidgeting and it occurred to me that he was nervous. "Seb, relax. I'm listening but your fidgeting is distracting me."

"I'm sorry Sam. You see, I'm not like those other guys who are more confident when it comes to this. I'm not poetic and I'm not even good at combining the right words to tell you how much you mean to me. I know due to cultural differences, you may find my actions confusing. I even had to research how dating is done in your country and I found out that actions are not enough. So, here I am, I'm going to tell you personally how much I like you."

I gasped while covering my mouth. His words were like an arrow shot directly to my heart, he likes me so much. But why did I feel a tinge of pain inside my heart? This was supposed to be romantic just like those in Korean dramas but why do I feel like this wasn't right. I was silent for a long time and he stepped closer in front of me, just enough for us to make eye contact. My heart was suddenly beating so fast when he continued what he was saying.

"I like you so much Sam. I like you because it drives me crazy whenever I can't see you. I like being with you Samantha. I know I came on too strong in expressing how much I care for you. The first time I saw you, I knew that you're different from the rest. You don't seem to like me as much as I like you but I can see in your eyes that you also care for me." He reached out for my hand and he was holding it tight when suddenly, I felt a cold breeze touch my face when the wind blew.

"Sam, I wanted you to know that I'm falling madly in love with you. You heard it right Sam, I love you. Do you love me too? Can we make this official?" Suddenly, the leaves from the maple tree fell down. He looked me right into my eyes while saying those words. My eyes widened upon hearing his confession. I pulled my hand away and he was shocked.

"Seb..." tears began to roll down from my eyes. "I don't know what to say. I don't know how to tell you."

"What's wrong? Why are you holding back? Please tell me Sam. Tell me, so I'll know what to do." He was crying too.