✔️Lost My Way - Kang Yeosang (ATEEZ)

Chapter 6

After about 2 hours, all of the fans had gone and I was the only person around. I decided to stay sitting for a bit longer as I honestly had no energy to even lift my head up.

"Excuse me! Are you ok?" Someone asked with a slight accent. I nodded my head not looking up because I know my mascara would be smeared yet again today.

"It's late. You should go home". The person then said again. I looked up about to say that I don't live around here when I froze. Out of everyone that could have been here still it was San. He looked at me worried for the first time today.

He went to put his arms around me when I flinched. "I'm not going to hurt you. I'm sorry" he said talking in Korean again knowing I could speak it. I still don't understand how he knows from earlier on. I then went closer to him and he put his arm around me comforting me. If it was earlier on, I would have said something to get him off but like I said before, I have no energy.

We stayed like that for 15 minutes before San said "you know, Seonghwa has been messaging you like crazy, worrying about where you are". I looked up surprised. "Really, I turned my phone off because the battery was nearly drained so I thought I would save some power in case of an emergency".

I stared at San for a minute and he stared back realising I was looking at him. "Why don't you like me? What did I do wrong?" I broke down again. I can't even keep count of how many times I have cried today. Everyone must think I'm pathetic.

San's POV
My heart just broke. Did I really make her feel that bad? I just wanted her to feel what I felt when I was 14. I was way too hard on her.

The thing is, when I was 10 someone moved to my school. She was from a different country and could speak no Korean at all. She sat alone for lunch and at break time for the first week she was here.

After school one day, I saw her at the park on her own. She was in a deep thought while sitting on the swing. I knew a tiny bit of English so I said "hello, you ok?" She looked over at me and smiled at me saying "yes" and then added "do you speak English?" I understood what that meant and said "little bit".

From that day on we decided to teach each other our language. After a few weeks she could have a simple conversation and after 4 months she was nearly fluent. I also was basically fluent in English too but obviously you could still hear my slight accent.

We became best friends and we were inseparable. She made friends with some of my other school friends too but they weren't as close as we were.

That girl was Aubrey.

She left all of a sudden when we were both 14 and she never told me she was leaving. The worst thing was that she was my best friend. We told each other everything which is why I was so shocked when she just disappeared. I tried texting her but it said the number didn't exist anymore.

I felt so alone after she left. I didn't talk to any of my friends, I started getting worse grades in school and I felt like I had nothing important left. I started smoking and drinking. Yes I was 14 but at the time, I didn't care. I needed something to get rid of the pain.

After 2 years, I got into singing and dancing. I was asked to audition for a company which I said yes to because I had nothing else in life. I had no parents, no Aubrey and I pushed away all my friends after she left so I thought what more do I have to lose if it doesn't go well.

Luckily it went well and I got put in the group that I am in today. Ateez. I finally had a family that didn't make me feel like I was a burden and I felt loved. They all helped me with my hard times but Wooyoung helped me out the most. He would help me whether I was just a little bit down or even when I started to have worse episodes. He helped me stop smoking too and stopped all my breakdowns from happening so often.

When I saw her today, I was angry. She didn't remember me. Or did she not want to remember me. I figured out now that she just forgot and didn't purposely forget me. I feel so bad. I was such a dick and I can't believe I did what I did. She will never forgive me now, no matter how many times I ask for her forgiveness.

I screwed up.
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Thank you for reading this far. It makes me so happy that people are reading my book!! If there is anything I can improve please let me know!