✔️Lost My Way - Kang Yeosang (ATEEZ)

Chapter 16

"WHAT THE FUCK SAN" Seonghwa shouted. There wasn't many people in the cafe now so no one took notice.

The boys were surprised that Seonghwa got so angry. He has never been this mad.

"What do you mean 'what the fuck San?' I'm not the one who is whoring around and hooking up with random guys in the club". San murmured.

"What are you talking about San?" Yeosang asked.

"When she was at the club last night, she hooked up with a random guy and he was the one who gave her the love bite. I can't believe her. I thought I knew my best friend better than that. I thought she would never hook up with a random person but I guess I was wrong! I'm surprised she didn't try and whore around with all of you too!"

The guys were shocked. She told San it was a random guy to protect Yeosang.

Yeosang on the other hand was fuming.
He stood up, walked over to San and said "don't call her a fucking whore" San received a punch to the face. He was too shocked at the fact Yeosang had punched him to say or do anything. They all knew he was going to have a bruised cheek soon.

Yeosang ran off into the bathroom to find Aubrey. He heard whimpers coming from the women's room and walked straight in not caring whether it was a girls room. He found Aubrey on the floor with her head leaning on her knees crying her eyes out.

Yeosang sat next to her with tears in his own eyes. His tears were a mixture of anger and guilt. He pulled Aubrey into a hug comforting her as much as he could, whimpering a "sorry" every few seconds.

The rest of the boys had took San back to the hotel but Seonghwa and Hongjoong decided to stay. After standing outside the bathroom for a few minutes they decided to go in and placed and out of order sign on the door. When the two walked in the bathroom, their hearts broke. Yeosang was on the floor crying his eyes out repeatedly telling Aubrey "sorry" while she was sat on his lap in his arms also crying her eyes out.

They had never seen Yeosang cry before. Not even when they won their first award or did their first concert. He never cried unlike the rest of them. He didn't even cry when he was going through a hard time while being a trainee. The two boys joined the other two on the floor and cuddled into them hoping to take some pain away.

Obviously it would hurt if your best friend hated you and called you a whore, but Seonghwa and Hongjoong tried to calm Aubrey down. They also comforted Yeosang to calm him down too.

After about 25 minutes the two started to calm down. Seonghwa picked Aubrey up and placed he on the side of the sink carefully. Hongjoong stayed with Yeosang comforting him still.

"I'm going to take your makeup off Aubrey. Is that ok?" Seonghwa asked the girl who literally had mascara all over her face and puffy eyes.

Aubrey looked up at Seonghwa and started panicking. "Please don't!" She begged " I don't want my makeup off. I can't! I look awful. I look ugly. I look fat. Please don't take it off". Seonghwa knew her self-esteem and confidence was low but he didn't realise it was this bad.

"Listen to me Aubrey! You are beautiful! You don't need makeup to be beautiful because you already are. You are stunning. You have perfect clear skin, big blue eyes, a perfect smile, with shiny white teeth. Girls would die for your body, your body is perfect. Please don't say those things about you because they are far from the truth. I promise" Seonghwa was almost in tears. He was frustrated at the fact that she couldn't see herself the way he saw her.

She was broken. The girl who looks like a beautiful porcelain doll was broken.

"Can I please take your makeup off Aubrey. It is smudged. You can have my mask to walk back to the hotel if you want". Aubrey nodded letting Seonghwa take her makeup off.

As Seonghwa took the makeup off her he whispered sweet things too her. Things like 'you are so beautiful' 'your skin is so clear' 'I love your eyes' 'you're perfect' and things like that.

Hongjoong and Yeosang were shocked at how well Seonghwa could handle this. If they were being honest, they would have no idea what to say to someone in that mindset but after watching Seonghwa, they felt like they would be able to do it one day if anyone needs them too.

Seonghwa had got all the makeup off and placed a kiss on the top of her forehead. "There, you look beautiful" he whispered to her. She grabbed onto Seonghwa and pulled him into a hug.

Yeosang had calmed down and cleaned himself up. They all decided it was time to get back to the hotel. Seonghwa went to give Aubrey his mask and she shook her head. "I don't need it now. You said I am beautiful" Seonghwa felt a few tears drip down his face from being so happy that Aubrey accepted herself. He knew she might only be happy with herself for a bit but he promised himself that he would tell her how beautiful she is every day to keep her positivity.

Aubrey grabbed Yeosang's hand and they all walked out the cafe together with Hongjoong and Seonghwa behind.

When they got back to the hotel, they all went to Aubrey's room first to make sure she got back safely. Yeosang decided to stay with Aubrey which she agreed too and the other two decided to go and check on San.

Aubrey decided to have a shower. While she was having a shower she saw her razor. She thought about how long it had been since she used it to harm her body.

It had been 4 months. She did it in a place where she knew no one would ever see. Her hips and the top of her thighs. She looked to her legs, the back to the razor a few times. She let out a quiet whimper so Yeosang couldn't hear.

⚠️mention of self harm⚠️

Aubrey grabbed the razor off the side an sliced into her thigh. She felt the pain that she had wanted to feel for the last 4 months now. At the same time it felt good. She was about to do it again when Yeosang shouted "Aubrey are you ok?" She shouted back a quick "yes" and got out the shower.
Aubrey started to wipe her thigh where it was bleeding so Yeosang wouldn't see.

⚠️END⚠️

Aubrey put on a black pair of leggings and an oversized hoodie. She came out and joined Yeosang on her bed. He looked up at Aubrey and whispered "you are beautiful" into her ear. They both lay there cuddling and ended up falling asleep.

Meanwhile, Seonghwa had gone to check on San and he didn't seem good at all. He was laying on the floor. As Seonghwa got close he could smell cigarettes. He stunk of cigarettes. He must have had quite a lot. Seonghwa sighed sitting next to San and placed sans head on his lap. Seonghwa played with his hair in silence for about 10 minutes before speaking.

"Aubrey didn't hook up with a random guy you know?" Seonghwa asked San.

San looked at him confused and said "what!"
Seonghwa repeated what he had just told San.

San then questioned "well how did she get the love bite if she didn't hook up with a random guy?"

"For fuck sake San, it was one of Ateez". He screamed.

San knew that he had fucked up as soon as Seonghwa said those words.
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