biblical times.

squatty potty

more whizvin coz why not?

"christ, leave me alone, marv. i just have a cold." whizzer was sat in bed skimming a novel he'd read a dozen times before. what else was there to do when you were too sick to leave the house?

"are you sure you don't want me to get another blanket, though? yesterday, you wanted three," marvin patted a beige blanket folded at the bottom of the bed. his eyes scanned whizzer's body as he awaited a response. his skin was paler than usual, but eyes wide and awake; position upright.

"im fine, i feel a lot better than yesterday." whizzer smiled and put his book down. "fix your face," whizzer laughed.

"what do you mean?"

"you look so worried, god. give it up, im not dying."

marvin remember this as if it was yesterday. he was at home with whizzer, snug in an apartment too small for men who seemed bigger than the world.

thought the hospital room was tons smaller, why did it feel so big? marvin was sat next to whizzer's hospital bed, looking out into the room. the white walls appeared blinding, offensive.

"let's go out," whizzer chirped.

"are you sure you're up to it?" marvin turned to his lover, eyebrows raised in excitement.

"up to it or not, i need it." whizzer swung his legs over the side of the bed, marvin helping him into his slippers and a jacket before putting on his own.

the two made their way outside and found a lonely bench to sit on. it sat right beneath the sun looking out towards nothing for miles. a smile was plastered to whizzer's face. you couldn't say the same for marvin.

you could always tell what marvin was thinking. right now, his brown eyes were wide and his lips curled, eyebrows furrowed.

"you look like you're shitting, cut it out," whizzer flicked marvin's forehead. "stop you're worrying, im not-"

"dying? you're not dying? am i crazy for thinking that maybe, you're dying?" marvin nearly shouts, but tried to contain his emotions. it results in an aggressive tapping of his heel.

"maybe i am, maybe im not," whizzer looks put into the sun, covered lightly by clouds.

"but maybe you are, whizzer, what do we do?" marvin looked at whizzer. he wanted to see his eyes, calm and warm to make him feel better. whizzer didn't turn his head, rather he kept his sight outward. whizzer knew he could face marvin or he'd lose it too.

"okay, maybe i am. even so, im sure as hell going to pretend im not for as long as i can." whizzer blinked away tears. it was because of the bright sun that his eyes glossed over, though, wasn't it?

"you're so fucking brave, i don't understand. i don't. how?" marvin grabbed whizzer's hand and massaged his palm.

whizzer tightened his hand, "promise me this, you'll try and pretend too?" whizzer's voice broke and salty tears slowly slid their way to his chin. he didn't like pretending. honestly, he hadn't been able to pretend for a long time now. it's hard to pretend that you're healthy when you can't walk unassisted at 29.

"hey, w- it's okay. what happened," marvin noticed whizzer's break and knelt down in front of him.

"i think," whizzer tried to smile, "you might be- be pretending for a really long time."

"what do you mean?"

"i mean that, you'll have to remember when to stop pretending when reality comes to bite your ass cheeks."

marvin understood what whizzer meant. whizzer didn't want to say it, but he was going to die. there was no way to make it sound prettier, so he just wouldn't admit it.

whizzer would pretend he was out at the shopping market with marvin, placing a single apple in the shopping cart every time marvin would turn away. he also pretended to be at his apartment, his white sheets at home seemed so much cozier. it felt like he couldn't remember what cozy truly felt like anymore. 

whizzer knee marvin would pretend like this too. pretend life was normal, trick your brain into having these fantasies feel like physical memories and thoughts. what a spiral of emotions it was to realize you were just lost in you're perfect life.

whizzer didn't want marvin to pretend he was alive after he was gone. he wanted to leave marvin and let him go. "promise me you'll remember to stop, too? please- promise me that you'll be okay."

"okay, i hear you, everything will be fine. perfectly mediocre just as it should be," marvin smiled, whizzer didn't find it so funny. marvin took the cloth cuffs of his jacket and wiped away whizzer's tears gently. "im okay, you don't have to worry about me. let me worry about you."

and it is 3:30am! this is an early one tonight guys!