The War Within

Chapter 5

Chapter Five

“Jacob, I-” Jonathan began in what sounded like an apology, but I cut him off with an angry glare.

“I don’t want to talk to you.” I muttered darkly.

“Okay.” He said softly. With his silence now in place, I returned to the safety of my own mind to think things through without interruption.

Wow, I thought to myself in frustration, I’ve managed to get myself sent to the office twice in one week. And the last time I was here I slipped out before the principal could see me… I doubt he forgot about that… I am so dead. Now what do I do?

“You could always just walk away. It’s not like you’re going to get in more trouble now are you?” Nekama interrupted me to offer his own bit of advice in what sounded like jubilance or victory, “The worst that will happen is you’ll be suspended. Now, I say you should-”

Shut up, Nekama. I snapped at him angrily, All you ever do is get me in some form of trouble or other. You’re not really helping me so I don’t want to hear any more of your stupid ideas! I don’t know what possessed me to be so stupid and listen to you in the first place but I will NOT make that mistake again! Now go away, disappear, and go bother someone else.

“Bitter, now are we?” Nekama asked coolly.

I said to shut up, I countered in agitation.

“Fine, fine. If that’s what you really want me to do.”

It is. I set my jaw tight and clenched my teeth.

“Very well, Jacob. However, before I go into silent exile, may I remind you who it was that helped you out with avoiding trouble for cheating on your test the other day? Also, who is it that helped you with avoiding a never ending grounding? Who helped you find a place to go when you had none? And who helped you with Rachel? It was ME! It was all me, me, me, me! I helped you with Rachel, but of course, you won’t be able to keep her without my help. Without me, you’re nothing. Without me, you’ll be left to fend for yourself in these deep dark waters where sharks lurk in the depths below you swimming in circles begging for your blood. I’m the only one keeping those sharks away, my friend. I can help you win Rachel and keep her, but you have to trust me explicitly. Of course, you clearly don’t want that. So I guess I’ll leave you to figure things out for yourself. Good luck with Rachel. We all know you’re going to screw this one up anyway.” Nekama growled back before falling into silence.

What do you mean, Nekama? I can figure things out for myself… I thought back with annoyance. When several minutes passed and he did not reply I began to doubt myself. The longer his silence, the more uncertain I became.

What if I really could not handle all this without him? Did I really need him? Did I need his help or could I manage on my own with no one to help me at all? My doubts began to grow as his silent treatment continued for more than a few additional minutes.

I sat in the office for a whole ten minutes - along with my brother, Jonathan, whose nose was no longer bleeding - before the principal walked in. He called the two of us by name and then led us both into his private office.

My mind went blank when I realized what was going on. His private office was where suspensions, expulsions, and any form of question interrogations took place. I was a dead man walking. I needed help and I had just banished Nekama from my mind. What was I, an idiot? Nekama could help me, right? My heart was caught in my throat as I mentally called out fearfully. 

Please, Nekama, come back. I didn’t mean what I said. I just don’t want to get in trouble. Please, you got to help me! Nekama! I panicked and tried to regain his attention. I needed help and fast.