The War Within

Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

            I stared at the package for what seemed like an eternity, but was only a few seconds that stretched on endlessly, and then closed the distance between us. Hesitantly, I reached over and picked it up in my left hand. I contemplated opening it but thought better of that.

            How did this end up here of all places? I thought I hid it in the garage where I wouldn’t have to see it ever again… Did dad clean out the garage and find it?

            “I told you that you’d regret it. You shouldn’t have come here.” Nekama chastised with a sigh. “Don’t tell me I didn’t warn you.”

            You warned me, Nekama. I just didn’t want to listen. I had hoped… I thought… I started but then trailed off unable to finish.

            “You thought what? That coming home would solve all your problems? As if. That won’t happen overnight. Trust me.” He replied brutally. “If you want things to start getting better then you’re going to have to start listening to me more often instead of going with what you think is right. You don’t have all the answers.”

            You’re right. I let out a sigh and then looked at the package in my hand. What am I going to do with this? I can’t keep it and I can’t get rid of it…

            “You don’t need it. So, get rid of it.” Nekama encouraged.

            What part of “I can’t get rid of it” did you not understand? I scowled.

            “The “can’t” part. Come on, Jacob, you can get rid of it. It’ll help you out in the long run. Trust me, I know what I’m saying and trying to help you do. I have a plan but I need your full cooperation on this. Are you with me?” he induced me.

            I’m with you, Nekama, I just can’t get rid of this package. It was from my mom… I want to hang on to it, at least for a little while longer. I’ll get rid of it later.

It was shocking how much this package suddenly meant to me. It went from meaningless to priceless in a matter of seconds. At the same time, however, a bitter taste was left in my mouth at the thought of how my mother had died on the way to retrieve this very package.

What could have possibly been so important that she would drive out of her way to get? What was behind the tape and cardboard holding the box shut? My curiosity was piqued despite Nekama’s forewarning.

            “Fine, keep the lousy box. Just store it under your bed and forget about it. Trust me, it’s better to forget about some things; and this happens to be one of the things that need to be forgotten.” Nekama quickly advised.

            You’re right, I guess. I let out the breath of air I had not realized I was holding and then shoved the box under my bed along with my dusty Bible, some old sneakers, and an old treasure box from when I was a kid.

            “Ok, let’s get out of here, Jacob, before anything bad happens.” Nekama murmured as he saw me reaching for the old treasure box.

            Just a sec., I want to see what I put in here. It’s been years since I last looked in this thing. I ignored Nekama’s pleas for me to leave it be and pulled out the old cardboard box. I turned with my back leaning against my bed and sat down to examine the exterior of the box. It was painted black but in several places the paint was flaking off. I took notice of how dusty it was as I moved the box around in my hands and watched as my fingerprints left their marks. With some wavering, I lifted the lid off the box and set it on the floor beside me. I stared at the lid a moment before turning to see what I had put in the box - as if the lid would help me gain the courage to behold what was within. What sort of mementos had I left behind?