Spidey's Babysitting Service

I'm a lesbian. I thought you were Wakandan?

They made sure Serrure was still in the living room watching tv and went to the kitchen.

"So, what's happening?" Shuri asked.

Peter sighed. "Do you remember when Loki told us about his friend Amora?"

"She's here? I thought she was supposed to be eternally imprisoned and possibly dead?"

"Yeah, well, seems like she didn't get the memo and wants to be the new Loki. Evil version Loki. She says she's not going to stop terrorising the city until Thor is brought to her."

"Can Wanda stop the blood rain at least?"

"She said she was going to look in Strange's library for some help after she got cleaned up. Wong gave her a spare key to the Sanctum a while back."

"Okay," Shuri said, "Okay... Asgardian sorcerer woman is looking for Thor who is M'Baku knows where-"

"I'm going to stop you right there," Peter said, "what?"

"M'Baku knows where. Like saying 'God knows where'."

"Yeah I got what you meant but, M'Baku?"

"Peter, have you seen M'Baku? If a god had to look like anyone it'd be him."

"Pretty sure a god would look like Thor seeing as he already is one and is equally hot"

"My sweet child." Shuri shook her head. "Thor is pretty, M'Baku is hot."

"Shuri, you're a lesbian."

"So I don't know what good taste is?"

"Dude, you had a crush on the girl from a soap commercial for three weeks straight – absolutely not."

"Bold of you to assume I'm not still in love with her." She countered. "Pushing your terrible opinions aside – Amora wants Thor, we don't know where he is, and she's going to keep up the blood rain until we find him?"

"Also, she's released most of the prisoners from Ryker's Island." Peter added.

"Fuck."

"Yeah, mood."

They both instantly went silent when the kitchen door opened. Serrure stared up at their guilty looking faces for a moment before turning to Peter. "You're on the box."

"Tv." Shuri corrected before the two of them followed the kid out. "Or television if you're weird. Or telly if you're British, which is equally weird."

Usually Peter being on tv was a fun experience. Pictures from pride, gate crashing Halloween costume parties, taking down some new most-likely-animal-themed costumed villain... He hoped it'd be the same this time, but lost all positivity when he saw who was reporting: J. Jonah Jameson.

"And who's to blame for the escaped prisoners rampaging across the city? I'll tell you who – Spider-man. I've been pointing out the red flags of this masked menace since day one but finally he's done something you can't refute. Spider-man was seen in Ryker's before any sort of distress signal was sent. For their own protection, I can't tell you my source, but I can tell you that they are a Ryker's employee. Another interesting piece of information they gave me was that they saw Spider-man teleporting away with known fugitive Wanda Maximoff just before the situation became uncontrollable. Take this as you will, but I see this as proof that Spider-man is the criminal that I believe him to be. I-"

The screen went to static.

"Good." Shuri said.

The static turned green before a vague figure appeared. The green washed away, leaving behind a clear image of Amora.