I started walking to my old ginger friend willow's house. Haven't seen her for a while. I jumped up the steps to the door, so excited, she nearly i nearly myself!! Ew! Wiffy!
I knock on the door, waiting for willow to awnser, i look to my left and see a fresh dog turd, it reminds me of something.. . A few seconds later the door swings open. Willow stands there, shaking her head, she sighed and invited me in.
"so, whats up will?" i ask as if i just ate an onion and banana pie. 'i never got that pie' i think sadly.
"not much Ca-Buffy." willow walks over to a telephone and starts dialing a number.
Im so confused, whenever i visit someone, they allways go to their phone! Its not like i have plip on my shoe! They dont have to Ignore me.
"willow! Who are you calling?!" i yell, very annoyed, so annoyed that i could fart out 17 jelly beans, and make a gosh darned pancake out of them!!! GGGRRRRRRR!!
"B-buffy... Calm down.... Im just calling uuhh. My grandma!!"
I growled, like a mad dog that just ate some lamb sauce made by Gordon Ramsey when he died. R.I.P!!
" thats it, im leaving, i just wanted a friendly chat with my old friend, BUT NOoOOO, your to busy with your dying grandma." i stomp out of her living room.
I run down the steps, past the steamy dog droppings. Ive had enough. I Need to let out some steam. Im going to the 'vampire hangout'.i think its located in the middle of town.
~~~
I sneak past the electric gate, 'this is really familiar.....' i hear a noise so i jump into the bushes like a ninja on drugs. Very strong drugs.
I peak my head out to check if the coast is clear when i hear a huge, disgusting, soggy sounding fart. I look up and see a security guard, facing the other way, digging in his bum with his fingers..... Ew! Wiffy!! And probably sticky....
I grab my stake, and sneak up on him.
Im crouching behind him when he lets out another ass destroying fart, i screw my face up.
" thats it!!" i whisper yell while staking them. They let out a small scream in pain before i cover their mouth. Eventually they fall down onto the ground.
"have fun scratching your bum hole...... In hell....".
YOU ARE READING
Buffy the Grandpa slayer.
HorrorA tail of Death, Destruction, and Grandpas. Its Buffy the vampire slayer, but better. For some reason it posted some of the chapters twice... Ty wattpad 👁️👄👁️
