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For the first time since his coronation, Jungkook once again remember the feeling the weight of other people's stares in him. He can feel the weight of pain and hatred in each gazes that were thrown at his younger self. Just like how it was when he's first presented to the Royal Court. He felt like the young boy that he was, all over again.
He can't blame those people for looking so hateful as they gaze at him, because how can someone bred from the lowest court, rule the highest court? For those people, he was just a boy mothered by a concubine. But they had no other choice but to accept him as their new ruler, because the Crown Prince has been killed by unfortunate events.
He never wanted to steal the crown. He never wanted to be King. But there he was, standing in front of the Court, waiting for the Crown Princess to walk to him. To be tied to him. And he regret the day he was crowned as the youngest King. He regret it every single day of his life.
And now, the same fear of rejection circles his mind as he stared back to the same woman that's always been there for him. To Hyun Ae.
He can't read her expression. It was blank, he can't see anger like he'd expected. He can't see hate like he wished to. But he can see pain, and it was completely evident in her face.
Minister Kim slowly pull away from their embrace, gently guiding Hyun Ae to properly be seated on her seat. The woman's eyes never left the young King as he made his way to her, nodding at the young Minister when the man passed him.
Jungkook sat on Hyun Ae's side. Though not accustomed to wrapping his arms around her, he still did. He let her head fall on his chest, his arms enveloping her small frame.
It was just silence between them. No one wanting to break it.
Jungkook has lots of things he wanted to say. But now that he has the chance, he can't bring himself to.
"Hui Bin passed by this place a while ago. She left me flowers like she've used to when we were young." The woman finally muttered. Her voice sounding broken and tired, unlike the way she used to talk to him. Hyun Ae looks so weak and fragile. "The flowers were beautiful. But I never liked flowers." She sobbed.
Jungkook listens. Humming to let her know that he do understand, and that he care for what she has to say.
"How can she still be kind to me when I did nothing but to hurt her? I was the person that stole her title as the Crown Princess." The woman cried, hands clutching tightly on Jungkook's silk robe. "When I learn that you like her, I did everything I can to hinder your relationship. You must hated me for that."
Jungkook wanted to say no. But he can't bring himself to.
"But that is fine." Hyun Ae muttered again, "You have the right to hate me. I brought destruction upon myself anyway. It's my fault for always wanting you. It's my fault for being selfish. It's my fault that I let power blind me. It's my fault for going against you and her. It's my fault—"
"It's not your fault." Jungkook muttered. Hand guiding the woman to look up and meet his gaze. "You just love me, and love make us do things."
They stared at each other for a moment, before Hyun Ae says. "Why can't you love me." The pain in the woman's eyes were enough to make the thing uselessly beating inside Jungkook's chest, throb. A reminder that he's just a mortal man, not a God. A reminder that he's capable of being hurt and feeling pain.
"I..." Why can't he? Hyun Ae did everything there is to love. So why can't he? "Because love can't be forced." He muttered.
Another tear roll down her face, before she wrapped her arms around Jungkook and buried her face on his neck. She cried, harder and much more painful.
Jungkook embraced her without hesitation. Wishing he can take his words back. He never like the way the woman cry, and he hate himself even more knowing he was the reason.
"But love can be learn." He whispered, Hyun Ae froze. Her sobs slowly ceasing, but she did not let go of him. "When the storm is calmed, and things are better inside my Court, I will do everything to get you back. So when that time comes, promise me you'll return to me. And by then, you can help me learn how to love you." "Continue to make me fall for you when you returned."
Jungkook may not equal her love for him, but he care for her more than she care for him.
Love may not be forced but it can, indeed, be learned.
Or perhaps he already learn to? And he's just afraid to accept that he learn in the hardest of way.
"And if we won't be together in this lifetime," Jungkook trailed, his hand gently brushing on Hyun Ae's hair. "Let's try again on the next." "In our next lifetime, I will make sure to love you more than you've loved me." He whispered.
A/N: HAPPY 10K READSSSSSSSS!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR LOVING THIS STORY 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 I WILL CONTINUE TO UPDATE MORE AND STRIVE HARDER IN LIFE. PLEASE KEEP SAFE AND HEALTHY, I LOVE YOU FROM THE PHILIPPINES ❤️
