Tadashi | tsukkiyama

9

chapter 9
—
❛you know I give a fuck
about you everyday❜
—

WITH their teammates being idiots and oblivious, Tsukishima appreciated Yamaguchi openly and didn't care. He stared harshly, almost to the point of eye-fucking the green-haired server, but the middle blocker caught himself. Instead, Tsukishima have Yamaguchi little bouts of encouragement when they play a practice game and he'd be serving, or just be around him for practice. It was a comfortable month between them, still in the honeymoon stage of dating.

And although the two have known each other since they were little and had finally acted on their feelings, they didn't think they would go through the honeymoon stage. They'd be acting per usual and it seemed all and well until girls approached Tsukishima outside of class, asking for study sessions. Without hesitation, the blond told them no with no explanation whatsoever. He only wanted to be around Yamaguchi after practice out on the weekends and they wouldn't get in between that.

But, the server saw it differently. Yamaguchi saw it as Tsukishima finding interest in someone else than him. He was insecure with himself even if Tsukishima only paid him attention. Mulling over it didn't hello anything either. If anything it made it worse for Yamaguchi, he was awkward and jumps around his boyfriend.

One day after practice the two were making their way to Tsukishima's place, Tsukishima's hand woven loosely in the server's. They walked in silence since Tsukishima had his mind in the stars and Yamaguchi was in his mind. He'd been thinking and racking his brain for reasons as to why his best friend had ended up liking him. But, he wasn't able to get far because Tsukishima tightened his gripped as a way to get Yama to look at him, which worked.

Yamaguchi slid his eyes over to Tsukki's and furrowed his eyebrows. "Yeah, Tsukki?"

"What are you thinking about? You look sad."

At the same time Yamaguchi went to speak they stood on the front porch of Tsukishima's house. He unlocked the door and stepped in, letting go of Yamaguchi's hand to sit down and take his shoes off. He waited for his boyfriend and took him to his room, ready to hear everything that was on the green-haired pinch server's mind.

They sat on Tsukki's bed, Yamaguchi's eyes trained to the comforter under his fingertips. He twisted a section of it before Tsukishima's hand curled around his, soft to the touch and caring.

"Yama–" Tsukishima lifted his boyfriend's face so they were looking at each other–"tell me what's wrong. I don't like when you're sad and not telling me."

Yamaguchi scrunched his face together, keeping eye contact even when Tsukishima's hand left his chin and went to his thighs. He tried his hardest to keep looking, but he felt too anxious and dropped his head. He breathed in deeply, hoping to calm his nerves, but it didn't help at all. From the part of Yamaguchi that he doesn't like tapping into, tears spilled out onto his cheeks. At first it wasn't noticeable, but when his shoulders shook Tsukishima knew something was off.

With a quick kiss to Yamaguchi's hairline, Tsukishima left to grab them two glasses of water. When he was back in his room Yamaguchi had moved into a small ball, his forehead resting on his knees, and his arms wrapped tightly around his legs. He was up against the cream colored walls and trying to keep everything under wraps. He didn't want to bother Tsukishima with something this useless.

What Tsukishima said next surprised Yamaguchi all the way to his core. "Tadashi, look at me."

It was spiked tenderly and carefully, along with his empty hands that reached out to his arms. The blond sat by Yamaguchi and held his face close to his own, trying to make sure Yamaguchi understood every word he was about to say came from the utmost bottom of his heart and he meant them all.

"You are my best friend and boyfriend and I care deeply about you. I don't want you to feel like you have to suppress anything going through your head; I don't want you hurting when I can be helping you. Fuck, Yamaguchi, I really like you and I just want to be there for everything you do."

His words only made Yamaguchi tear up more and he leaned forward to hug his y'all and lanky boyfriend. He clung onto him, pressing his face into Tsukki's collarbone. The middle blocker laid back and rubbed his hand against Yamaguchi's, slipping his hand under his shirt to have some skin-to-skin contact. They stayed quiet until Yamaguchi felt comfortable enough to speak.

He spoke quietly, "I just feel like you're gonna leave me. I know it's stupid, but there's so many people coming up to you and asking for help, and I feel like you'll say yes and then leave me; maybe not as a friend, but as a boyfriend."

"It sounds stupid now that I say it, but that's what's on my mind."

Tsukishima wrapped his legs around his green-haired boyfriend's and tightened his arms. He breathed in Yamaguchi's scent, then said into his fluffy hair, "I'm not gonna leave you, Yama — ever. You don't have to worry about everyone else, I don't like them. I only like you and only ever have, you're special to me."

A sniffle came from Yamaguchi and the two boys were quiet, their breathing filling the air of the smaller room. Tsukishima stared up to the ceiling, basking in the feeling of Yamaguchi in his arms and being able to hold him like that, and Yamaguchi squeezed his eyes shut to focus on his blocker's words. He ended up falling asleep soon after and Tsukishima wipes away the tears on his face, pressing an airy kiss on Yamaguchi's forehead.

"So you're finally dating him?"

The blond's muscle tensed briefly and he shot his eyes over to his door where his older brother stood, leaning against the frame. There was a faint, proud, smile on Akiteru's face, but it slipped off when Tsukishima glared at him.

Tsukishima asked defensively, "yeah, and?" subconsciously holding Yamaguchi tighter. A hum came from the smaller boy and Tsukishima loosened his grip, but still holding the green-haired boy with the stars mapped on his cheeks and galaxies in his eyes.

Akiteru shook his head, standing up straight and sliding the door shut. Before he closed it all the way, he whispered into the room, "when are you telling Mom? She's gonna freak because of it."

With that said, Akiteru shut the door fully and Tsukishima heaved a sigh, deflating his lungs. He knew his mother was going to freak out, but it was more of an excited freak out. She had always wanted her angry son to find someone who'd love him unconditionally and it seemed like he found that person, but it would be a surprise when he tells her it's his best friend since childhood. Tsukishima's mother wouldn't care about Yamaguchi being a boy, but that he was able to get through Tsukki's walls and defenses and have him open up.

a/n: so we got some sad and insecure Yamaguchi, sorry for that.