Coruscate

Six

It's been 3 years since Ethan... since he's gone away for good. But still so many loved him. He has so many fangirls. I didn't know that my truth bombs yesterday became a hot topic even if I deleted it after a few hours from posting.

Many didn't believe that me and Ethan were together. We were so discreet when we dated and even most of our close friends don't know about us. Only a handful know. Mainly our parents, his cousin who I was friends with, and his bestfriend coz he caught us once. Zenn knew I had a boyfriend but I never really told her who. She was one of Ethan's fangirls. All she knows is that I have a secret boyfriend before Richie.

People's opinion are scattered online. Some were looking at clues from Ethan's posts and mine. I already posted photos of us and some still thinks that even if he's dead, I'm using his popularity.

Luckily some saved screenshot of my deleted posts. Nasa harap na nila evidence pero ginagawa pa din akong sinungaling.

Hindi tuloy maganda ang gising ko. I only had one class today but I feel sick and I don't wanna face the public. But I have to attend to submit reports besides exam week na next week.

I dragged myself to school. Wearing sunglasses to hide my puffy eyes and I have no plans to remove my sunglasses.

Parang sobrang bagal ng oras. Pumasok ako on time like literally on the dot so I'll have no time for my surroundings. But I still feel like time is really slow today. When the bell rang, I got out and headed straight to my car not minding all the whispering around me.

I said I didn't mind but I can't help hearing all the nasties. I drove and drove going nowhere. Ni hindi ko napansin nayung speed ko tumataas. I almost hit a dog because I was driving fast and very distracted. I calmed myself and drove back to my condo.

Umakyat ako sa rooftop at di ko namalayan na kanina pa pala tumutulo ang luha ko.

Nagrereplay ang mga narinig ko kanina. Na ginagamit ko lang si Ethan dahil nasaktan ako kay Richie. Na nag iinarte lang naman ako. Na hindi naman ako minahal ni Ethan kasi mas mukhang girlfriend niya dati si Margaux. Na alam ko naman na gustong gusto ni Zennary dati si Ethan pero jinowa ko pa din. Na ako ang una nang agaw ng lalaki kesa kay Zenn. Na ginamit ko lang si Richie. At kung ano ano pang masasakit na salita.

Ayoko ng car accidents. But I really really wanna be with Ethan right now. I wanna feel loved. I miss him so much. I miss my parents. I hate my life.

"Ayoko naaaaaaaa! I just wanna die!!!"

I screamed at the top of my lungs. I was screaming so loud but nobody can hear me. Nobody can see through the smile I'm always faking lately. Nobody understands me. Nobody.

I'm about to get up from the railings so I could jump to my death. Nobody will miss me naman kasi. I was gripping the railings so hard and was about to push myself up and over when someone held my waist and put me down safely a bit far away from the railings.

"What the?! Yaaaaah! Don't touch me! Put me dooooooooown!!! Bitawan mo ako!" I was kicking and punching the guy who held me until he dropped me and I fell on my arse.

"Ouch! Why did you freaking dropped me?" I said while rubbing my behind. Ang sakit ng pagkahulog ko ahhh.

"Well you said bitawan kita. Why the hell are you trying to kill yourself by jumping off from the 42nd floor? That's such a gruesome death. And I don't wanna be a part of that." The guy was still animatedly talking how gruesome my death could have been but I can no longer focus on his speech. I was entranced by his handsome face and his tall stature. I know he's handsome even tho my vision of him is blurry because of my tears. He just got that confident vibe in him that adds to his appeal.

"Who said I wanna be saved? You could've just let me." I finally had the guts to talk as I removed my stare at him. I just grabbed my bag from where I left it and marched towards the rooftop exit of my condominium building. My plan was ruined anyway, might as well leave and plan a 'better' way to die.

"Hey Missy, you were trying to kill yourself. I just cannot let that happen. Besides, sayang naman ang maganda mong mukha if hinayaan kita magsuicide. I'm sorry for butting in your business but I believe there's always a solution to every problem other than death. Okay?"

I kinda stopped my steps when he said I have a pretty face. How can he say that when I know for a fact that my mascara is running down my face due to my tears and my hair is a mess because of the blowing wind.

Why does he think there's a solution other than death to my problems? Is his life perfect? Well I'm sorry mine isn't! I was about to take another step when he grabbed my arm forcing myself to look at him. Why is he grinning??

"I'm Denzel by the way. You can talk to me about anything. I am here to listen. No judgements I swear. I just don't want people resorting to suicide when I can be of help." He was even raising his right hand in a promise kind of way. He's kinda cute like that which is a bit distracting.

"I'm tired. Please let go of me and just forget that you saw me here. I don't need you to listen to me. I don't need your help. Just let me be." I was struggling in his strong hold. He was holding me as if I am about to go attempt suicide again. I mean, dude killed my plans. Buti pa yung plans ko dead na, while I'm here still freakin struggling!

"I'm sorry but I won't let you." He dragged me towards the rooftop exit and straight to the lift. He pushed the G button and the elevator started descending.

"Let's go clear your mind for a while. I know a great place where we could eat our hearts out. That will take your mind of your problems for sure." He said it with such a dazzling smile, I just sighed and let him drag me to wherever...