𝐶𝐴𝐿𝑀 𝐷𝑂𝑊𝑁 | haikyuu!! chatfic

14

hey hoes ✌️ this is on snapchatttt! fun right? so this gc on snap is gonna be called caca in honor of the gc i'm in called big caca. i don't actually have pics for this so it's gunna just describe this pictures but uhhhh from kageyama s pov i guess anyway have fun! also this girl in roblox called me racist because i didn't give her my soup. anyway what's poppin with u guys?

it's five in the morning why are people spamming on snapchat? does nobody go to sleep? hinata didn't go to sleep 'til like three yesterday which made it hard for me to sleep but we go there in the end. speaking of which, where is hinata? ok. i know for a fact when i fell asleep hinata was on the couch next to me and i was on the floor. i'm still on the floor but hinata is nowhere to be seen.

"hinata?" i ask groggily, considering i just woke up. no response.

i sit up on the floor (which was really cold by the way) to see if he had fallen or something and i just couldn't see him. 

"hinata?" i call again, slightly louder, but still i don't get a response.

this time i stand up and look around the room. 

he couldn't have gone anywhere, right? i was here the whole time i would've woken up. now i go search around his house. his sister and mom weren't home last night since they're staying with hinata's grandpa until next tuesday. his mom said i could stay here with hinata while they were gone.

i'm getting off task, i need to find shoyo. i look around his house for a while but he's not here. 

what if someone took him? what the hell is going on?

now i'm actually worried. what if something bad happened to him? what if he's in danger? i need to call suga.

i pull out my phone and see that i've been getting messages and snaps from suga. all of them just said "check the groupchat" and there was one picture of him making that weird face that oikawa did and like wiggling his fingers and it creeped me out. i guess i should check the groupchat? 

holy shit 17 messages and like twenty pictures. why. i open the first picture to see oikawa with hinata. it's captioned "come get him back, king" with some cringe emojis. hinata looks scared out of his mind. 

the second picture consists of bokuto and akaashi outside of oikawa's apartment building in a car captioned "not for long lmao" and akaashi just looks pissed. bokuto is making some dumbass face.

there's just a ton more pictures of people ganging up with each other outside of other people's schools or houses/residences and the chat is mostly people freaking out and whole lot of "KUROO STOP FOLLOWING ME IM GOING TO THE STORE" from yaku. damn this is funny. but holy shit- oikawa still has hinata. i decide to send a picture captioned "give. him. back."

i immediately get responses. oikawa sent a video explaining how he got hinata.

"well to be honest i probably made it more complicated than it needed to be but that's besides the point. chibi-chan over here left his alarms disabled last night because he said he would do it when he fell asleep. he forgot since he fell asleep at three. you had fallen asleep far before. shoyo was asleep on the couch, which made it very easy to grab him. tobio, you had rolled a little off to the side of the couch so i sent iwa-chan in through his back door by jumping his extremely dinky fence.also, shoyo chan is a little bit of an idiot so he left the door u locked. all iwa had to do was scoop him up bridal style, take him out the back door, and his fence had a gate so he went through there and then we had successfully kidnapped chibi-chan." he rushed his words a lot so i couldn't understand it at first.

now i just type in the chat.

(now we gunna do a lil transition you see nothing huh pOoOooOf)

(also this is on snapchat from kageyama s perspective so i'm just gunna put 'me' for him and we all know he's too lazy to make their names something special so he probably has them all just as their name idk)

me- GIVE HIM BACK YOU PIECE OF SHIT

bitchass oikawa- uhh no :)

sugawara- uh haha why don't we all just calm down a bit and return everyone to their preferred locations please?

bitchass oikawa- kuroo what the fuck are you doing outside my apartment

kuroo- fuckin vibing yanno 

bitchass oikawa- OH MY GOD GET OUT

kuroo- haha i'm in your bathroom shithead

(uh they both just got off i guess lmao)

kenma- iwaizumi can you let me in kuroo shut the door

iwaizumi- i have nothing to live for. yeah i'm coming.

kenma- same. and uh thanks

toung piercing- so i just snatched the tall guy from nekoma

yaku- GIVE HIM BACK YOU DIPSHIT I WILL KICK YOUR FUCKING KNEECAPS I WILL NOT HESITATE BITCH 

yaku- HAND HIM OVER YOU UGLY ASS TOUNG PIERCING PROBABLY NOT GUNNA GO TO COLLEGE LOOKIN ASS OVERSIZED CEOISSANT

kuroo- i- wow okay

kenma- so uh

kenma- shit has been fixed.

shoyo<3- thank you that was scary T-T

kuroo- milk boy

me- omfg what

kuroo- asshole. we're giving shrimpy back. thank kenma i wanted to keep him 🤡

me- uh thanks kenma. why would you wanna keep him

kuroo- teach him some tricks so that he becomes better than bokuto and i can bully him relentlessly

bokuto- oh haha. not so funny now that i just got your libero. he's very angry. akaashi hell.

akaashi- help* and now you kidnapped him, you deal with him. i'm going home.

kuroo- lmao dumbass. nah. he has you. good luck. yaku, kick his ass

yaku: i just flicked his head and he screamed.

bokuto- SHUT UP IT HURT YOU HAVE LONG ASS NAILS

yaku: for one thing, you deserve it you fucking kidnapped me. and two i don't even have fingernails.

lev- yeah he bites his nails!

yaku- LEV SHUT

yaku- but that's is true i'm a nail biter 😔👊

hinata- do they taste good :o

yaku- the fuck? i- no?

hinata- tHeN wHy dO yOu eAt tHeM?

yaku- I don't kNoW

kenma- kuroo i'm hungry 

kuroo- let me drop off shrimpy and i'll take you to go get some breakfast, k?

kenma- uh sure thanks 

hinata- grand king why did you kidnap me in the first place :0

bitchass oikawa- i wanted time mess with tobio :)

yaku- yEAH WELL YOU GAVE EVERYONE ELSE IDEAS AND NOW IM IN THE BACK KF BOKUTOS FUCKING CAR ASSHOLE

bitchass oikawa- sorry what was that? i couldn't hear you from up here. maybe i could crouch and you'll tell me again?

iwaizumi- you're literally an asshole omfg 

hey hoes. i'm gunna post this now because i'm hella tired. kk have fun yall

stay safe and wash ur hands 😗✌️